"Ye that are majors, be Mother
to minors as I have been to you"
Jay Mai Jay Mai Jay Mai.
157. The Founder was re-employed at Hubli in continuation of his service in Bombay from 1942. People came forth from Bombay and other places to have Mai Darshan and blessings and instructions. The Founder had some new types of experiences here, which he wishes to be recorded for those who are on the high stage of spiritual attainment. The Founder is emphatically of the opinion that every saintly man or spiritual aspirant should record his experiences with the preciseness of all laboratorial experiment results. There must be standing public Institutes for, the said work and to finance. That would be a great guidance and encouragement to the junior and younger aspirants, treading on the path.
158. Indian atmosphere is saturated with a chaos and innumerable imaginary stories about miracles and miraculous happenings. If, however, someone pursues such cock-and-bull stories and tries to investigate about the truths of such yarns, he could not trace head or tail. This sort of thing results in belittling and discrediting even the most honest and true facts. It is therefore extremely desirable that persons of standing repute, whose word would not be taken as exaggerated or as based on misunderstandings or simply imaginary or as hallucinative, should record their varied experiences verbatim. In the West, great importance is given to the making and maintaining of such faithful records. The scientific greatness of the West is the grandest proof and result of their determination to keep the most faithful record of every success and every failure and every conclusion the scientist arrives at. It does not matter at all if he is wrong and proved to be wrong in some conclusions. The fact of his having dedicated his life to the cause of the scientific truth is in itself too great a thing to allow his reputation to be affected by any failure or wrong conclusions. That should be the spirit of the saints and religious people in India, in their own subject of religiosity and spirituality. In India, the modern tendency is just the reverse.No saint ever leaves after him a guidance for the younger generation in the shape of his own personal experiences. Ordinary modern people are not so much interested in learning the art of being a saint or saintly. They are most satisfied with showering praises, without any desire of imitation or being initiated or injected perfectly and honestly. The disciples or the devotees of the saint are always anxious to show to the world that the saint was perfect from the day he was born. He was never even a quarter step out of the straight path or away from the consciousness of perfection or needing any illumination. Such people are not wrong in a way nor would it not be a folly for the saint to be recording his experiences of blunders and faults, his creative measures and remedies applied, if the world is so foolish and has no faculty for appreciation of a struggle during the overcoming of the temptations and of a fortitude during worst miseries, etc. People want their saints to be only a perfect image, perfect from the day they came into existence. People would bear their allegiance only to a perfect man and to none. They are not interested in the life of a saint as a man in the making, whereas in reality and substance, it is the deep deliberative study of those details alone, which can help the future generation, in the line towards a solid progress. To give an exact simile, to study the letters of any great man to others is much more illuminating than his select record teachings. Although these latter are most beautifully worded and most wonderfully gifted and most logically and intellectually set up, they do not go beyond creating a feeling of joy and admiration. They teach much less. We cannot be lionlike by merely seeing and talking about a lion in a cage of the Victoria Gardens. We have to understand every detail and master it, going through all the stages of tests, failures, corrections, instructions, repetitions and realizations. The highest word of caution is that the students should not be so pitiably senseless as most of them are, as that they would lose all value of their great men for the only ground of some single weakness, imperfection foible or failure of theirs.
159. In one word, therefore, Hindus would have been the masters of the religious world with the richest inheritance they have, but there are certain impurities and drawbacks and perversions.
160. As the Founder says "Substance" is here, but "system", the art of preservation, nourishment and development, and elimination of destructive elements, etc. have to be imported from our neighbourly brothers in the West.
161. Our extremely poor preliminary grounding, mere worshipping our saints Gurus and great men, without trying to follow in their footsteps, won't help us. No Guru however great in his mercifulness will give us the nectar, unless we love and serve him, unless we are devoted to him and unless we try our best to deserve and to be what he is, with unconditional and cheerful self-surrender.
162. It is not that the saints are any the less merciful, but there are limitations beyond which the Eternal Divine Law does not permit the results to accrue. One unit can be multiplied to be 100 units, but a zero remains a zero however great the multiplier may be.
163. The substance is the same for all realised great souls, but "System" has to vary. Food remaining the same, the method of feeding has to vary from plane to plane, from time to time, and man to man.
164. To return to the experiences referred to in Hubli and be again on straight rails, the Founder had several experiences. The Founder was given a bungalow as a guest to temporarily reside. On the first Friday in Hubli, a big gathering was held there and rich prasad and sweets were distributed. Just then, a bitch got in and she was driven out without giving a bit and with a stick. At 2 A.M. after the departure of all, Founder prayed to Mother for the success of the first gathering in Hubli; he had not taken his meals. He had a joy of the success but an overwhelming sorrow at the idea of the bitch being beaten out without a bit of bread. He was disgusted with man's non-consideration for other men, what to speak of animals! In a great disgust, he decided not to take his meals and laid himself down on his cot. At half past two, the very same bitch, which was turned out with beating, came out from below the cot, began to lick the Founder and pulled his garments towards the kitchen!!! The Founder was happy like anything. Can you imagine the weeping of the Founder on seeing Mother's Grace?? He was superstitious enough to believe, it was not the very bitch. He went to the puja-room, worshipped the bitch and began to eat with the bitch, his now meals, partaking with the bitch half to half. He caressed the bitch, "Are you now satisfied?" "Mother? Hast Thou sent a bitch to see that I am jolly and not sorrow-ridden and to see that I do not sleep hungry?" He wept with his face against the bed, out of gratitude. When he opened his eyes after composure, he was surprised to see that the bitch was nowhere there in the whole bungalow of which all the doors had been locked before going to bed.
165. Somehow a dog appears to have some significance in religious experience. Kabeer said. "Kabeer Kutta Ramaka." "Kabeer is a dog of Rama." Yudhisthir's dog faithfully accompanied Yudhisthir in the Himalayas, at his end. There are instances of saints having run after a dog, who took away their bread, not to beat him as world imagined, but to give butter to be applied to the loaf. There is a mention of a similar meal-sharing with a dog in several accounts of saints. I quote one here. "The master, Blessed Shree Mai-Swarup Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, saw a monk taking the leavings of the beggar's meals with some dogs from the heap of the discarded leaf-plates. He had one of his arms around a dog's neck and man and dog were eating from the same plate. The dog was quite at home with him."
There is a wonderful account about the pet dog of Sree Bhakta Raj Shivanand Sen, one of the dearest devotees of Lord Chaitanya Gauranga Prabhu. Bhaktaraj did his best to keep him home, while he prepared for a long journey for Prabhu's Darshan. He was taken with great trouble. On the way, the dog saw he was a cause of so much trouble to his master and left him. Shivanand was extremely sorry and began to almost weep with the remembrance of the dog's faithfulness. Anyhow, composing himself, he proceeded to Lord Gauranga's place. On reaching and entering Lord's place, what did he see? The Lord is patting and feeding a dog sitting by his side. Which is that dog? The very same. The dog had never before come to the Lord's place. A faithful dog follows the devotee master to the last.
166. I have already used the word higher experiences. The Founder had once been in a condition for twelve days when this is the actual description of what he described about it.
167. Any thought, (people have an experience, how many thoughts they have in a second), any one of them which did not mean a feeling of love, service, devotion or surrender to Mother, as soon as it rose in the brain, it gave him a fire-burning which gave an unbearable shooting pain and was nothing short of a physical burning. The only difference was, unlike physical burning which lasts longer, here it was an unbearable burning which disappeared, as soon as the thought subsided. In his own words, the Founder explained like this "Suppose there is an altar of sacrifice. It is cool and quieted, all fire having been reduced to ashes and those ashes also cooled down to the coolness of the usual earth. You are seated by its side. And most unexpectedly, a blaze of fire arises and scorches your skin, face and heart. Or, suppose you are travelling in a second class in a train through an extremely hot country. You have closed all windows and have kept ice around you. Immediately, something goes wrong and all the windows fall open. A burning blast of extremely hot air attacks you from all sides. You immediately run and close all windows and burningness and the painfulness disappears." That was his experience for twelve days.
168. To start with, he would have hot-fire-blasts at any other thought. Here, I am afraid the reader can't imagine. Any thought means absolutely any. Even such a thought as that "my name is so and so, that I am seated in such and such a room." Any means Any, absolutely any. People cannot believe or imagine certain states of blankness, without having the actual experience. Their "nothing" is much above the real "nothing", and unfortunately they suspect exaggeration. It is interesting to have an idea of the Founder's habitual ordinary blankness. He would have often to ascertain whether he took meals or not, by seeing if there are any used dishes or whether the food kept for him has remained in the vessels or not. He could not recognise his own daily used things and would show the poorest memory about his gains and possessions (even cheques). Even after sixty, he can't distinguish between similar fruits daily used in his home or the most common similar grains or cereals. He cannot tell you the spices and ingredients of any simple daily dish. He believes that one of the secrets of his devotional success is his strictest observance of "No vacancy" for admission in his brains to any things except those that are entirely indispensable. With this knowledge, the reader will be able to conceive and possibly realise, what the Founder's "nothing" in the blankness referred to in the said experience can mean.
169. But later, it came to a climax when even a thought like "Mother is Merciful" gave a burning blast. Even the idea of "Mercifulness" was inadmissible. Beyond "Mother", absolutely nothing was permitted. Absolutely, "Mother" alone, not even the predicate and verb. A thought even like this, "Mother, Thou art alone True, the rest is all unreal" was not admissible and was not without its painful burning blast.
170. One day, he wept profusely. In a word, it was a period when he had alternate seconds of hot blasts and normal reliefs and rests. He wept out to Mother thus.: "The last thought, which any the most cruel man will permit as "Mother? what shall become of me"!! "If you would not permit that, nay any thought, any whatsoever, even such one as that "Thou art Blissful", any-any-any!!. "Any" as that "I am so and so", "I am blessed with Thy devotion?" "Any" as that "I surrender my whole life to Thee and Thy work"!! "If any thought, whatsoever except pure and simple one thought of "Mother"!!, you resent and rule out as inadmissible, where do I stand?? If that one thought of Mother too, is not to have any adjectival expression or quality as "Most Merciful Mother", let go such expressions as "Thou art the Creatrix of the universe"? or that "Thou art of an enchanting beauty"? or that "Thou art ocean of oceans of Mercy", how can I live mentally?? How terrible!! How killing!! Nothing Nothing Nothing absolutely Nothing except what is conveyed by the word "Mother"!! No association of any other Idea, not even the predicate "art" and even the pronoun "Thou"!! Only the pure and simple single thought that can be conveyed by the word "Mother" to a child. "If you are so very hard-hearted, what shall become of me??".
171. Just as a victim even when there is over-powering force would assert himself before losing his life, he would not mind the painfulness of the hot blasts and say "Mother" not even Thy Mercifulness?? Not even Thy greatness?? not even Thy oneness?" Not even my saying, "I do not exist? outside Thee?". "How cruel??". He would dash his head against the pedestal where Mother was installed, and weep with the frightful notion of the face to face seen incoming insanity. He knew this was a process of re-forming every atom of his brain and mind. But who can guarantee a happy end?? He had previous experiences of the type and he had passed through them with Mother's highest Grace, but who can say, what will be the end? The mutilation of the mind itself!!!
172. Which doctor and which nearest relative and which devotee and which Gyani? can soothe him or help him?? Mother be praised!!. The stage automatically disappeared after twelve days by Mother's Grace. Not gradually, but all at once, just as he was pulled out by a crane from deep drowning waters to the shore.
173. The Founder says "How foolish is it to ask an old man of over sixty, how many mangoes he has eaten during his lifetime? or how many times he has used his teeth to chew his sweetest morsels? A more foolish question is to ask a devotee, how often he had any dealing with his deity and the worshipped. There is no end to it. What the world knows of a true devotee is only a sample and a drop. It is something like a big mango merchant who is a supplier to the whole city like Madras or Bombay, showing one mango (not giving it) to a by-the-bye casual inquirer, asking of him "what is a mango like?", and about whom the merchant is quite sure, he is no purchaser.
174. One more experience which the Founder repeats with pleasure is this. Opposite to his bungalow was the bungalow of a well-known radio songstress. Once at 2 A.M. he was in meditation in a room with none except one V.L.B. his constant devotee companion in Hubli. The Founder began to hear the most beautiful pleasing celestial music. He was pleasingly disturbed. Said he to his companion, "Is she the songstress singing so wonderfully beautiful now??, at 2 A.M.?" The companion said, "No, No, I do not hear anything." The Founder being contradicted said, "what not??, just sit down on this wooden seat and hear." The companion sat on the Pat (wooden seat) just in front of the Mother's Image. He was surprised, "Yes, Yes, What a wonder is this? So very beautiful music!! She has never sung like this." To be more sure, Founder asked his companion, what was the tune. He said, "It is Lalit Pancham". Founder danced with joy, "Quite right". Both ran outside to see if the songstress was in her spirits singing her best. What is there? Pitch dark. No door or window open, none awake, all asleep, not even a light flickering.
175. The Founder and his companion returned to their place. The founder said, "Let me see if I still hear." He sat on the seat. The music was still going on. He immediately got up and asked his companion to sit. The latter spoke out with joy, "Yes, yes, the very same Lalit Pancham, but now (Antra) its further higher note development." Founder again ran, though the companion did not this time accompany. It was all pitch dark there at the songstress' place.
176. After finishing some devotional talks, they both slept in their cots. The light was extinguished. A few minutes after, they heard a burst of laughter. That was the second wonder, during the night.
177. The Founder wrote these details of both experiences. viz., twelve days' confinement and celestial music, to his best friend in these mystic experiences. The founder said "Tall talks about Vedantism, or scriptures, any man can give or narrate or write. I want experiences of God's Grace and communion. Personal dealing and contact." "I want firsthand Teachings through Almighty's persons who with their own individuality forgotten and absorbed, simply type out verbatim the dictations of Almighty, as are dictated. These alone have a supreme value with me. Let the word be from any mouth-piece, but it must be God's sent word. That alone can move the world if at all it is not incorrigible." "The rest of things only come and go". It surely does its individualistic temporary give and take work, and should not be belittled at all, serving, as it does, its own smaller purpose. Everything has its own importance, with reference to a certain time, person, place and condition.
178. The Founder was happiest when he had a reply from his God-Communing friend. "Mother is fondlingly playing with you. The second experience is only making amends for the first. You were burnt with scorches for twelve days, as that was considered necessary by Mother. She has given you then the sweetest music, one can ever hear as the divine medicine to restore your mental normality. Nothing is impossible for Mother. She laughed with a burst, on seeing that still, " even after so many experiences, you do not credit Her with powers which you yourself have described in your books- the power of doing and undoing and doing or undoing in a never-imagined manner." We conceive Mother as if tied down with the physical limitation of Time, Space and Causation and Material plane to which any mortal is subject, because, we poor creatures can't go beyond those physical limitations.
179. It was in Hubli that for the first time the Founder had an idea of living in solitude with Mother in an independent place and manner. We now enter an out and out worldly dealing region, as it has a relevancy with the subject on hand.
180. These two experiences kindled a desire in the Founder's heart to arrange for a personal contact with Mother in the fullest solitude. He wanted a place where none, not even a sparrow, would be between him and Mother when he was in communion with Mother. Servant or none should be able to see or know what he is doing, whether he is beating his forehead or slapping himself or weeping or rolling on the ground or singing or dancing or playing or eating or sitting or most endearingly talking before and with Mother. He longed to have the fullest solitude as of a silent desolate forest by night- during daytime, mostly dealing with people, during night time mostly with Mother. When the Founder came to this decision and determination on this point, he wept, he joyed, he danced, he sang.
" Tumara Hamara Zagada Kaisa bhi Hone Do, Bichmen Na Alam Ho."
(Yours and mine, deadliest quarrelsome fight, however terrible, let be. But between us, let not anything and none, even the smallest element of the whole world or Universe, intervene or be).
181. The ideal determination began to gain strength. In a way, there was a gradual development of the Mother-Movement as a whole. The ideal of the outer form of the Founder's activities had arisen from that of a society of the Mother's Lodge like a Theosophical Lodge at Poona. From a lecturing hall for the public with a private personal worship (though attended very largely) in his own home in Poona, arose the public worship on large scales at Ahmedabad. The latter was accompanied with guidance at home, say in a silent saint's retreat and the personal worship had been now reduced to himself alone in his home. From public worship arose, so to say, the temple of general prayers for distress, with worships. From the prayer-house of some few individuals came forth a Religious-Relief-Home, with worship, mantra repetitions, etc. That Sakama practical devotion, in its turn, led to a practising school of continued Nishkama Mai Sadhana. Finally came the ideal of a personal monotonous meditation in Mai Niwas mansion where Mai Markand and Mother would live as two in one, all alone. It meant, practically a retirement from the routine devotional world.
182. Except the protection against brutal forces and the procuring of the necessary means to pull on the body and the usual mundane life with, what more and absolutely substantial and sublime things the world has ever given to its best men?? They have to pull on and they do pull on as smoothly amicably and humbly as possible, but without leaving their permanent anchors. The highest thing that the world can give, viz., name and fame is worth, nothing and nothing more than a known mirage, to them. The higher-type child-self develops itself, gains experience, and serves the world, and finally seeks rest and retirement as the Retired Self.
Mai-ism says "No man that is born is perfect as God; but that does not mean you should lose your reason in the matter of deifying and worshipping and serving the greatest Godlike men, with the usual arguments " he too is imperfect, just as we are imperfect," "he is like any one of us" "he is a bit less, we are a bit more, imperfect, that is all." That type of mentality precludes all your further progress and in practical actualities of life, such a rotten decision does not succeed or stand for two minutes. Simply because there is a Supreme King over your own king in a State, you never lose your balance in the matter of your respects and duties to your king. A millionaire may be nothing before a multi-millionaire, but for a pauper requiring a bit of bread, he is and must be, in his eyes as good as a multi-millionaire. That is the right practical sense and constructive understanding. For your own thirst of a cupful water, your water jug is as good as the sweet large lake, miles away. In a way, for practical purpose, your room-jug is superior to the lake. You allay your thirst much more quickly. It is handy and ever obligingly merciful to you without much labour sacrifice or worry, time and work. This wrong and rotten mentality of sitting of pigmies for judgment on deities and Rishis and Law-givers is a great handicap to spiritual progress. It only shows the perversion or the rebelliousness within, and senselessness without.
183. Idealism and Ideal living is no doubt the purest and sublime-most condition, but there is the other opposite force of practicality, which is ever co-existent and remains unalienated. I refer to the constant struggle between matter and spirit. The matter so often weakens and subjugates the spirit. What is required to be done is, therefore, the gradually acquired proofness that is attainable only by being alternately within and without the mud mire of worldliness, for times without number.
For a religious spiritual aspirant, that has fixed up his finally determined goal and has surrenderingly united himself with Mother's Mercy and Guru's Grace, he has to pass through innumerable rounds and series of experiences. he has temptations, entanglements, failures, experiments and experiences, for giving him greater and greater wisdom and strength. He has to go through numberless revolutions, apparently of the same nature, of the same circles, as if he had made no progress and his former experience and exertion had been wasted. That is however like the rising spiral around the different facets of a pyramid. If a pyramid has six facets, say, A. B. C. D. E. F, if B is the further stage above A and so on, and if the first and second round in the same facet A is A1 and A2, although F is much higher than A, A2 will be higher than A1. The man often comes to apparently the same plane and condition as before (to A again after F), but he is a much higher man as he passes upwards, till he reaches the apex of the pyramid. As he goes up, the differences between the facets become smaller and smaller, till all the facets meet at the highest point of the apex. It would often be that the worst so-called cruelty or crookedness of the higher man would be on a much higher plane than the so-called best kindness and straightforwardness of the lower plane, in absolute weighings. This is just like a sorrowfully observed fasting day in a royal palace when in reality there are more dishes of fast-permissible-dainties than the grand dinner feasting day of the poor. The beginning aspirants would do well to keep up the belief of one great truth, so much belittled with the democratic new tendency. Great are great and small are small, even though great do small things and small do great things. To cast out that democratic ghost which has topsy-turvyed everything, and to drive out that senselessness arising out of an entire misconception about "All men are equal", is a great work by itself.
Pandit Jagannath, the author of Ganga-Lahari, was said to have had a questionable connection with the Mohammedan princess of the day. The brahmins threatened him with out-casting. He proved his purity by making the Ganga waters to rise and flow over him with her, sitting on the high bank more than fifty-two steps above the river. We can imitate him in the former morality-violation act, but it would be impossible for us to show the latter worth and proof of purity. Although this may be a tradition, that illustrates the most important truth. Great men are to be followed in their great and meritorious acts, and not to be judged by their particular imperfections, weaknesses and blunders. You impudently ask "why"? Alright, remain where you are or go down. You submissively say "yes," bigger people will themselves pull you up. Choose what you like.
184. The striving-aspirant may succeed, fail, rise or fall, maybe getting more virtuous or more vicious, so many changes may take place in their destined and pre-arranged moments, but the truth behind all the happening changes is that he is going higher and higher who holds up his strongest ropes of the strongest protective powers, viz., those of Mother's Mercy and Guru's Grace.
185. To give an easy simple illustration, we have a village story:
Two farmer's sons went to a river, each one with his two bullocks, to give them a bath. Unfortunately, both were caught, each one by an alligator. Both had the wisdom of strongly catching the tails of their bullocks, one tail in each hand. Both were pulled out by the strong bullocks along with even the alligator. Both were carried and dragged away by the strong bullocks to be in the midst of thickest crowds of villagers that ran out for saving the boys. The boys were more than hurt, being dragged along the ground with their one foot in the mouth of the alligator and were further continued being kicked at intervals by the bullocks. The crowds were ready to kill the alligators with their weapons. Each boy was asked to leave off the tails. "We are killing the alligator, you leave the bullock's tails." They won't. One boy, in the end, left the tails and the alligator so very swiftly found its way through the crowds and dragged the boy away so very speedily into the waters. The crowd ran after the boy but the alligator was too strong for their speed and weapons. The boy was drowned. The other boy who was resolute and said "Do whatever you like. I am not going to leave the tails till the alligator is actually killed. My leaving the tails is impossible". He was saved on the alligator being killed, although he suffered a bit more misery."
186. The wise man who binds himself with ropes of devotion and self-surrender, and prays to God and Guru to pull him upwards is never lost and sure to rise to the highest point in course of time, and as speedily as it can be, so long as he does not with his own hands sever himself from the protective and pulling powerful ropes. "Catch God and Guru, never to leave, come what may", that is the highest secret of success Mai-ism gives. Set no big value as to how you fare. The opposite pairs of pleasure and pain, success and failure, rise and fall, etc., are sure to play their parts. Fix up your eye ever constant on your relationship with God and Guru and the rest will automatically follow.
187. The higher you are pulled up to go or go yourself, most automatically your miseries all-told, (not as the world calls them, but as you feel them and are influenced adversely), get more and more reduced and your higher joys become intenser and intenser, and your proofness to temptations and patience and perseverance grows stronger and stronger, till you reach a point, a point of proofness, possibly nearest to that of the possible perfection.
188. To an exiled prince, called back by the king's grace, thousands of miles away from his capital, and making his way back to his home, the treatment that he meets on the way, the conveyances he has to utilise, are matters of smallest significance. What he is counting is, how many miles he has cut off and how much remains to be cut off, as between him and his sweet home. That should be the aspirant's intense and ardourful understanding and the strength and concentratedness and single-mindedness of determined action.
189. To resume the subject, as a parallel to the development of the outer form of the Founder's activities narrated before, it is interesting to note the inner development of his mental changes as he passed through several stages. First, he was ideally a universal-minded man, says a philosopher, and a devotee, with absolutely very little of the contact with world and worldliness. He was made by Mother, to pass through the practicalities and actualities of life.
190. From the universal-mindedness, without losing his own personal universal-mindedness, he had to stoop to the greater utilities of a defined religion for all practical training of the people and making them interested in true religiosity. The substance of a religion must be there to churn out religiosity. To make people interested in sweetness, any substance, say, sugar, sugarcane, honey, grape, jelly, jaggery or any such thing has to be the most familiarly dealt with. What that substance would in natural course be selected to be, would be the one that people to be dealt with are most familiar with. Because, on leaving Poona, he could not get the outer universal skeleton, he had to choose the most easily available and utilisable vehicle of Hinduism. Not that his universal-mindedness was any the less; and he turned to his own Hinduism. The Universal-minded man took up Hinduism as his vehicle because he had to deal with Hindus. If he were in midst of Christians, the selected substance for increasing the popular craving for true religiosity would have been Christianity. Even now, the doors of Mai-ism are open to all varied types of religionists. The spirit of the Founder's Universality would take, say, the Christian or Mohamedan colour, even now, if the followers in large wieldable and countable groups belonged to Christianity or Mohammedanism. To understand more clearly, Mai-ism is the sweetness itself or say, the true religiosity itself and not a certain substance or a certain Religion. The substance is the masculine aspect. The quality or a certain working power of a substance is its feminine aspect. Say, the moon is masculine (not in English) but his bright coolness, Kaumudi, is the feminine aspect. Both are inseparable. You are, say, propitiating the Goddess of Fire, Vanhi-wasini or Jwala-Malini, but you have to make your offerings to the physical fire in your sacrifice-altar. On the other hand, you are doing the latter but you are worshipping the Goddess represented by the Fire and not the altar or the firelogs or the fire-flame. The abstract conception requires and required a concrete substance. The latter happened to be Hinduism as most convenient, easiest, nearest, speediest and widest. The substance, however, brought its lights as well as shadows. Mai-ism in its outer form became Hindu-like, although no opportunity was allowed to pass without awakening and maintaining the public consciousness of the requirement of the " Universal-mindedness " as Mai-ism's first true understanding. The abstract conception brought in the substance. The substance brought in the shadow, the shadow brought the Founder face to face with people's darkness and blackness of head and heart, ignorance, utilisation for selfish ends and exploitation. The Founder was gradually pulled by people to tolerate their actual "below-mark" stage and was dragged to descend from the abstract supreme devotion to the practical work of relieving the distress of people, from advising the Nishkama Bhakti to admitting the Sakama Bhakti, from a general Mai Sadhana to the same for one's own purpose, from people's grateful humility, to their worldly business-tendency and finally, from their fair and honest business attitude, to the worldly natural plane of easy cheating and exploitation even in the realm of Religion.
The Founder had to descend, step by step, to meet people on their own plane, which was found to be lower and lower as the Founder went deeper and deeper into the bottom layers of people's natural plane. He, however, persisted because in any case, he was not for abandoning hopes or his lifelong avowed Mai Mission Work.
A certain orthodox Hindu is extremely anxious that his favourite celestial cow should not be unhappy after he dies. He knows none is willing to have her. He starts with the normal selling value of say Rs. 300. He is extremely wishing it should go to a particular house, where alone she can be happy. He goes on lowering his price. He is determined, till finally, he agrees to hand over the cow free and even with Rs. 300 on the top. That explains the Founder's whole all-along mentality.
The more he came into contact with the people, the more disillusioned he became about the real value of the so much tom-tommed religiosity of the Hindu Religion. He saw very little of a practical nature beyond a passing liking or a taste, and nothing like love for religion with sacrifice. Religious living did not mean a different mode of actual living. He also saw that even the so-called universal-mindedness itself of many was in analysis nothing more than a courteousness, a little tolerance, a little broad vision, a little goodness and a royal talk. That by itself could not stir up the inner soul. In practical life, universal-mindedness was only a negative virtue. It had its value because with many others the infatuation about their own religion and in some cases even fanaticism was there as a contrast. By itself, the universal-mindedness as he saw, did not mean much constructively, in the actual progress in Religion and Religiosity, The Founder here does not refer to the highest meaning of universality, viz., seeing and treating every soul as one's own self. That is entirely out of question in this world, at least the modern one, with its living based on an out-and-out selfishness, except for some few exceptions who are in the world, but not of the world. The first descent from the abstract devotion was towards Nishkama Bhakti. The Founder went on being faced with bankruptcies after bankruptcies, from one surpriseful unhopefulness to another. He could not find universal-mindedness, he could not find revellers in abstract devotion. Going down, he could not meet Sadhaks, who would be for increasing their supernatural accumulated powers for public welfare through mantras, meditations, worships, etc. No Atma-Drishti. No Nishkama Bhakti. Not even Sadhana for Loka Kalyana. The average plane was still lower. Religion was found to have some faintest signs of being welcomed, only on the Sakama Bhakti plane. The Founder went down and down and welcomed even the out-and-out Sakama Bhaktas resorting to religion, worship, mantras, etc., for a particular specific object. There too, the Founder's hopes were frustrated. Few took up the devotional or religious permanent colour. People licked away honey and left the dry teeth-trying bread. The Founder said to himself, " Well, I am more than satisfied if people remain contacted with Religion, even though that be for clear-cut openly declared specific purposes and only periodically. However the world was found to be shameless enough even there in the lowest requirement, and even feeling grateful to God or Guru was found to be not only absent but out of the question and question-barred.
God and Religion were found to carry no higher value than a stop-cock or a pushcock of a water pipe to be turned or pressed whenever one wanted water.
The Founder would have considered himself blessed if he had found the world at least at that stage of periodical devotion for a specific object. The world, however, showed still more wonderful varieties of lower planes. Discontentment underlying demands, and further even wrathfulness on non-fulfilment of demands, so to say, dictated to Mother.
The Founder permitted himself to be still down-dragged because in any case, he wanted the unwilling horse of the world to drink the celestial waters. He tolerated Religion being made even a matter of business and there too the world most hopelessly failed to be true to its words of recognition even after fulfilment of their specific desires. The introduction of the business element murdered the last remnant of gratefulness.
The Founder's final conclusion was that he had given a value to the world, which was many times much higher than its real value. The world was found hopelessly poor in the matter of the very first requirements of true religiosity viz., humility and gratefulness. If he had known this true value in 1932, and if it were a matter of his own choice, he would not have dedicated his life to this fool's, simpleton's and mad man's work. But the rub is there: " If it were a matter of his own choice." That is also a part of the usual programme, a stage through which a devotee is taken. It is like the day and night extremely hard work of an I.C.S. as an Assistant Collector, before Collectorship and the kingship of his Collectorate. Before a soul retires permanently, Mother takes out maximum work from him before he is permitted to retire. It is not that the work of keeping the world smoothly-running cannot be done without the said hard work. Mother Herself can do it in an eye's wink. He is made to work, as it were, created for gaining practice and experience, to equip himself for the next higher stage.
I wish readers may enjoy the simile and laugh with me. All that work is like the Partheshvar Pooja of Lord Shiva. The devotee prepares Partheshvar images from black clay, repeating his mantras etc., so many in a day. he begins after his bath at every dawn, working the whole day. In the evening, after waving the light, he has to drown all images in water, and the water to be poured in the Ganges. Next day, the same thing. Even when he leaves after twenty-one days, there is not a single Partheshvar clay image for even his own children to play. What is the highest surest and most permanent benefit? It is that the Shiva's devotee becomes Shiva-like. It is this innermost understanding that keeps up the perseverance, in spite of every possible failure.
Once an officer, expert in agriculture, was engaged by a State on a very high pay, to teach the subjects on how to bring forth the best harvest from each field. He most bitterly complained to the Founder about no people coming forth even to hear him. The Founder coolmindedly said, "Don't fret, continue, you are bringing forth best harvest from your own field; by way of your most lucrative pay".
This is the Infinite Reservoir of consolation and inspiration at the bottom. It is not the " real improvement of the world " for " work " that necessitates the hard work and change, Mother herself can do in an eye's wink. With all the mercifulness that he can command, the Founder's opinion often formulated itself to be, that the world had gone beyond all possibilities of any improvement and that the only chance left for the world to be happier was that, possibly its eyes might open as a result of unbearable sufferings. The well-known remedy of walking in the footsteps of the wise was lost to the world. The only path leading to the possibility of improvement was through clouds of calamities and a continuance thereof. New ones gathering before old ones scattered, till the eyes opened with determined action and faithful wisdom. And if that last stage was reached, what else can saints do except to most intensely ever pray for the highest Mercifulness of Mother??
Just as a down-train going down and down from station to station, on finding no passengers on any station, runs back from the downmost station with the highest speed and with no intermediate stop, to the upmost station, the starting station, so did the Founder often return to his Mother, fully laden with richest experience about the world.
He often earned the benefit of a quietude, on being eased over his dreams of possibilities. The world did not want God, Guru or Religion, there was none waiting on any station-platform for a train to carry them further. The Founder was often satisfied with remaining confined in his " Mai Niwas " quieted and religiously occupied with Mother alone.
191. The Founder would be sitting in the Mai Prayer Hall (28 feet by 16 feet) on an Asan (Seat) on the floor (ground in front of his dearest Mother on a pedestal), exactly in square line with the Image. The place has its breezes from South to West, and two tube-lights and two powerful lights are making the place bright enough for the humble devotee to be viewing Mother most minutely at few minutes' intervals. In the Lotus Feet of the Mother have been lying two photographs, one of Paramahamsa with Mai and another of the Founder with Mai. Neither the breezes from South and West vast open spaces would quieten his mind and remove sleeplessness, nor would the brilliant lights give him any illumination and relief in the matter of the darkest despondency and void in his heart. Meditation of Mother would fail to heal up the wounds in the inner chamber of his soul. Ecstasy would be impossible, as now he was no longer a child.
The Founder would shed the hottest tears and most solicitously pray to Mother, to do any one of the two things She pleased. " At least show me some faint phantom of success in my undertakings of Thy work, or, once for all, sweep out the last remnant atom of desire to raise the religiosity of the religion-following world, through Thy simplest Mai-ism". Mother, however, would do neither.
The paradoxical position, in the matter of God's attitude, is simply a torture, although a spiritual one. What is the deepest hidden working underneath? It is a play of God or Mother with His or Her dearmost devotees. They live their most intense life with the Almighty, but the world as a whole remains practically unchanged, though with a temporary spiritual flood. When the Founder would be tired to the last point, Mother would explain the paradox thus.
Do you think it is the laying down and explaining certain best recipes of a religion that can make the world happy? No. Do you think it is the ceaseless effort of understanding of truths, that entitles men to be happy? No. Do you think the world is unhappy and miserable, without its own evils and sins? No.
All is delusion.
And yet, know this, the secret of secrets. Enjoyment and Happiness proceeds from Relinquishment, to the extent you throw away things of the world.
" Love alone is the Teacher of Relinquishment. Service concretises Love. They become happy who love and serve Me and whom I love. The claim to be happy finally rests on Love and Service to Me and Mine, with devotion and self-surrender. Neither people can change matters nor you. What is people's highest self-control before Nature's urge from within? And what can your highest effort do unless I move the keys of people's hearts? "
And yet the paradoxical position that you are weeping about saves the world and is the keynote of the secret working.
"It was true of everyone that was, is, and will be, dearest to Me. There is no human working that permanently helps. It is only My Will. The usefulness of all working of people, or God's dearest devotees proceeds from quite a distant irrelevant invisible thing."
To repeat, it is this: " Those who love and serve Me, My dearest and My children, will be saved". "World as a whole will be run on the basis of its collective merit, but individuals will be saved".
The rest is all Maya's befooling of mankind, through delusions of authorship, ownership, actorship, etc., and misunderstandings through networks of causes and effects, distinctions and differences, mine and thine, etc.
" Millions have preached religion. Where is happiness? Millions have mechanically obeyed Divine Laws laid down in scriptures. Where is happiness? The bestower of happiness is I myself. There is nothing like any person's claim thereto in virtue of any well-earned dues or any deservedness."
" The Lover, The Server, and The Surrenderer to Me or Mine alone wins the highest victory of happiness." The rest is only a temporary mirage-like satisfaction and a passing talk, a word-forth, a speedy revolving of the motor-wheel raised above ground; the meter would read miles but the motor stands where it has stood.
The Founder would with an electrification jump up from his seat of meditation and run to the Mother's pedestal and lift Her picture and holding Her over his head, would say in highest jubilance " Then, what else have I been doing and preaching? ?" His brains in full electric sparks would then cool down with an overpowering sleep.
He would again have the renewal of passion to continue Mother's work in spite of failures. He would be happy and with his decision, say to himself "Failures are no failures, except in worldly eyes. Every effort itself, by virtue of its being with the purpose of serving Mother and Mother's work, is a victory by itself and in itself."
His passion for Mother's work would again reach the climax. Something within him like a butterfly, although certain of its death, would again begin hovering round the lights of Mother and Mother's work. His intense and incessant passion for both, would with every laughter make him nullify his former words of tiredness, viz., "This is my last writing, speaking or exerting for Thy Religion". The drunkard says "This is my last drinking." The practical reality is, that under that pretext, every time he is drinking the utmost.
The Founder would say to Mother "Let me have the last pleasure of having my full unconstrained and unbridled say". " Let me unbreast myself, without caring what the world thinks of me". He would later improve and add " Unless Thou Thyself wishest me to continue serving Thee, Thy Religion and Thy Glory".
His hopes would again be young enough and, catching Mother in Her highest joyful mood, would gradually creep in with his prayer. " Let my desire of seeing Thy name and the specified name of " JAYA MAI " repeated by thousands, be fulfilled, for that alone can make the world happier".
He would not permit Mother to throw out his prayer on the ground of prayer's inefficiency or his own undeservedness or the pretext of insufficiency of time of the Founder's length of life. He would add "If not now, just before I return to Thee. If not then, when I am disembodied and am more able and free to do Thy work. If not then, even after several centuries, through Thy any new Selects like Blessed Mai Swarupa Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa or Shri Swami Vivekanand (through Thee, Thyself or Thy Lion, Lord Shiva Incarnate).
192. Long periods of despair, with very little work as can be shown as a solid proof of his single-minded occupation with Mother, could not be without hundreds of conflicts. The Founder would be often using the expression " Cart before horse arrangement " of Mother in respect of him. He would be surprised and annoyed at the inverted arrangement of " First Mother and Motherliness", and thereafter the world and worldliness.
He would ask Mother," Why bothering with the wretched and wicked world, even after getting a fair amount Divine Knowledge and Devotion? " " Why being made to have to break head with and lower the mental plane with the world's experience? " " where is any longer the need therefor? " " Why should I be dipped in the worldly rottenness to know what sort of thing the world is, after having known the source of nectar and having partly sipped the nectar? " ' why cart before the horse? "
This too was surely a paradox for him and a singularity. People first plunge into worldliness, but once they leave, they leave forever. In his case, worldliness began to dawn after devotion.
The Founder would make out three possible solutions, in all such cases where highly religious souls are seen busy with the world and even after knowing the world as it is in its true colours, after that, they have secured God's Grace.
Firstly, for any high soul, that is to be entrusted with the work of being a teacher, the B.T. course becomes indispensable, however, qualified he may be, with other much higher university Degrees. Secondly, the world must be fully known to its smallest atom to render impossible any possible slip in future. Thirdly, the devotee can not perfectly and passionately love God or Mother, unless he reaches the perfection of the conviction about the worthlessness of the world.
193. When this question was causing agitation, the Founder had the Mother's Grace of having the Life of Paramahamsa made an offering to him, by a Mai devotee in November 1949 at Madras [ Chennai]; and there he found the corroboration ( he read it only then for the first time ).
Paramahamsa too advised " first God attainment and then the world entering and world attendance ." He stated, " Bricks and tiles burnt after stamping of the trademark retain their mark forever ". Said Paramahamsa," If before attaining devotion, you try to mix with the world, you will be upset by dangers, griefs and mortifications ." " The more you dwell on worldly things, the greater becomes your attachment. " A wise man must live in the world, after the attainment of knowledge and the Realisation of God. Then alone he remains unaffected by the evils of the world. "
For their most literal meaning, without dilution or stretching the meaning too large, how very unbelievable and yet boldly stated and boldly repeated," cart before horse " statements are these !!! And yet, the underlying supreme Truth-essence give a fitting satisfactory answer to the Founder's perplexing problem. Herein there is something, which is not of the average Hindus"Everything is same " type." Everything is same " is for idiots with no subtle sense of appreciating most delicate differences, whose intellect can distinguish "red" from "not red" only, but has no fineness of distinguishing redness of say 80/400th from the 81/400th shade. Everything is same for the man whom to everything is merely an intelligent talk for the time being and not an illumination of guidance in his solid work for achieving a religious progress." Everything is same " is the wisest reconciling expression, when people are ready to draw out their swords. There is however a class of the rarest few who are nectar cravers, select people even from the known saints and philosopher themselves, who enjoy their nectar sipping all the more on realising the most delicate differences, just in the same manner as we feel the highest joy in snatching over the very same dainty from the dish of our beloved persons. If the difference is not there actually, even then the differences are imagined and created to enjoy the relishfulness. The morsel from one's own dish and the same of the very same dainty, but from the beloved's dish, are not same things to some fewest. What the nectar-cravers enjoy is something else than the dainty itself, unknowable to others.
The Founder says, I am speaking or writing for that class, the rarest few of nectar cravers to whom " Thy things are dearer than my things ", and not for the people dipped in an infatuation regarding their own things and a disgust for all other things.
Don't think there are nectar-cravers of the said type, but it is the highest privilege of the fewest to be in contact with such few. For the rest, let the common things of " Everything is same " , " There is nothing new ", " It is already there ", " We have been knowing it already ", " So many have said in the past", " Our scriptures have said it ", " Our Rishis and Sages and Forefathers said that thing centuries before ", - go on in their perpetual manner.
The Founder says,"I can not describe my joy of relief on the corroboration by Paramahamsa, with the said "cart before the horse" expression. there is something much deeper in those expressions. They do not mean so much alone as what we already know or conceive."
Most of us, more or less, hear everything, understand nothing, practise still greater nothing and realise yet still greater nothing. How then can there be anything like relishfulness or illumination about the minutest and finest fibres of the weaving? The relish - bliss - possessed, however, find it impossible to remain silent. They do not mind other looking blanks at them.
There is something unusual and even reverse of what we ordinarily believe and what has been passed on to us from the past.
194. The Founder states: Our usual notion about making spiritual progress is perhaps wrong. The idea of a gradual evolution ( the Western Evolutionary theory ) is too much with us. We have been generally thinking and believing, we have to struggle with world's temptations, remove our weaknesses, one after another and go ahead. We have to go on becoming better and better, less and less worldly. and more and more Godly and Divine. Our only poor idea is that of a continued labour and struggle as if a religious progress were work of filling some reservoir with pouring of buckets of water therein from a river nearby. Our notion is that of hard-sweating and suffering, and the religious progress being some arduous work, as of a boring a tunnel or excavating a mountain.
The illumination and the joy proceeded from these " cart before horse " expression of Paramahamsa, in as much as they lead me to one corroboration." Beyond this well-known usually and commonly known routine, there is an exceptional royal route as well".Paramahamsa is telling you something superb and extraordinary, not the very same thing, which so many have said in the past, - something much more than what the man with " Everything is the same " can see.
The joy proceeds from realisation and still further on the corroboration of the realisation. The difference of parrot-like knowledge and realisation is there. There, there, there the difference comes in, which I so hammeringly talking about; and yet few understand me. Two friend disciples go to a guru. The Guru in his usual talks speaks out a certain truth along so many others. One disciple on hearing the same gets so very ecstatic and stands up and begin to dance and revolve himself, being unable to contain his joy, without bodily -relieving moments. The other one has heard the same words but is looking with a surprise and annoyance at the mad out-of-control joy expression of the other disciple. Says he," What, what, what, such an extra-ordinarily thing did Guru say? He is tailing the same thing almost daily; and not to him alone; but just see, there are so many of us here; I don't dance, some many others of us don't dance. What has happened now to this fool ?? "
The Founder feebly tries to explain. The difference is this. To all men, it is," This" in midst of thousands of " Thats", some of which are even contradictory to " This "."This" in midst of thousands of "Thats", not unsaid, not unheard, not unknown, not unfamiliar, in cases of all men. In the case of the other man- that particular man- it is "THIS AND THIS ALONE, NOTHING ELSE, NOTHING BUT THIS, NOT THAT, NOT YON, NOT YONDER ".
When a certain truth stands only by itself, and takes the full possession , when in perfect compatibility of what little-most experience of one already has, one feels a conviction about the said truth, when not a single one atom of that truth out of say hundred atoms thereof remains overshadowed with the smallest doubtfulness, then there is the ecstatic joy of an unprecedented illumination. That inability of the nerves both mental and physical to contain that joy results in almost a boisterous joy-madness, which others around are looking at an astonishment and annoyance.
Illumination is one thing. Conviction is the next higher thing. Realisation is still a higher thing. And corroboration after realisation is yet a still higher thing.No realisation gives a perfect joy without corroboration. You may dispense with a Guru up to the last end if you are vehemently against having a Guru, but at that last stage of corroboration, the Guru is indispensable.
The Founder explains " conviction " thus.
We talk of Mother as " Patita Pavani " ( Purifier of the lowest downfallen ) or of God as " Adhama Uddharana ( the Saviour of the most wicked ). Even a child repeated these names. The question of questions is this. a stronger man comes and threatens you with " Is this true ? ". You shiver, you tremble, you get perplexed, you say," We only hear so "," So many have said so in the past "You seek out a way from his clutches, you back out with a weak platitude ." " When so many have said, it is very likely it can not be wrong. God alone knows if it is otherwise ". You hasten your escape; you get fumbled; you turn away your eyes from his, you find a pretext to be away; you wish to be relieved, you yourself are overpowered with doubts and suspicions. You ask yourself," Am I really right ? or -is it only a parrot-like repetition because so many have said so? In the end, it may as well be, that you have a sorrowful consciousness of your having accepted a certain statement as truth, just with only the usual " herd mentality " mechanically doing and believing what others before you have done and believed.
On the other hand, the realised man stands firm as a rock. He has an adamantine courage or realisation, the conviction of any mother that would boldly say out, with respect to an altogether face-changed son of hers after years. "Yes, he is my son". That conviction is there because the son is piece and parcel of hers. A certain truth must have similarly formed a piece and parcel of realisation of the realised. That conviction is there because there is immense suffering ( as in the case of a mother ) as the originator of that conviction. A realised man is a steady batsman. Let any ball come, he has his over-boundary. ( If there were no unbearable painfulness in bearing a child, no mother would have loved child. strange expression but true.).
What I am making a cheerful offering of my soul to Paramahamsa for, and what I explain here, is what you have already known and what I have too already known and written so often about. But the conviction, realisation and corroboration !!! These are certainly superb things. How to explain !!!
Corroboration !!! With greatest exertions of yourself, you have reached Mother's Mansion. You have been sitting on the very steps of the Mansion. You say about the Palace " This must be the Palace ." But yet it is " must be ".You require some higher and one ahead of you to say," Yes, you are right. This is the Mother's mansion." Till then, the realisation is not perfect. I asked the question and Paramahamsa answers it by saying," Yes, yes, first devotion, first God's Grace -securing, and then the world." Paramahamsa speaks with an emphasis and a boldness of which there is no preceding parallel. He speaks with the deepest conviction of, an actual realisation of," Asked, and as soon as asked, granted " - mercifulness of Mother. This emphatic assertion is in greatest rhyming with Mai-ism. Paramahamsa asserts, if not differently, at least more distinctly and definitely than any other " isms " or any other preceding religious teachers.
The Founder states," What an astounding revelation ?? So to say, Paramahamsa dismisses the indispensability ( though welcoming and recognising the usefulness of so many religious requirements and qualifications ), of exertion, exercise, progress, development and all the paraphernalia, which every religion so gloriously speaks about, provided you have Mother's Grace. He has no diffidence or doubt. He does not imagine a single case of failure. To him, there are no qualifications which are indispensable for an aspirant, provided he has an unfathomable love for Mother.
The Founder sums up thus: The point-blank question is this, which is required to be answered without fumbling, without conditions imposed, without escape of defense, without provisos and without hundreds of "Ifs" and "buts". The question is " I have no other qualification. I know only how to die, out of love for my Mother". " Shall I be saved ?". Paramahamsa says," Yes ". Mai-Swarup says," Yes ". Mai-ism says," Yes ". Paramahamsa's " Yes " is entirely unqualified. Paramahamsa's answer is " Look at Me "; " No inferences, but eye-to-eye proof ". The witness who has actually seen and lived in a certain Palace with a certain Mai-Queen, stands as a rock, about Mother and Mother's Grace, against all cross-currents and cross-questions. Someone asks Paramahamsa " I don't know Yoga, will that do ?" " I don't know Atma-Parmatma-subtleties, will that do? " " I have no Sandhya, no temple-going etc., will that do ?" Paramahamsa gives the boldest answer" Yes, Mother's Grace on your love to die for Her, to die without Her, can dispense with everything ".AND THAT IS MAI-ISM. " If you love Her; you serve Her, you surrender yourself to Her, everything including salvation is yours." THAT IS MAI-ISM. " Salvation is only a poor-hearted man's goal."
So many have said so in the past, the same thing, but only in a hotch-potch manner, not in an unqualified manner, not without hundreds of " ifs" and "buts " and not without hundreds of diluting and weakening elements about the supreme most Truth. Paramahamsa soars much higher than the routinism of all religions. He advises" placing the cart before the horse."
The routine is this:" I study engineering. I often fail, but I finally pass. I get happy. I apply for a job and I get a job."I get it because I have passed and have the degree. I get it because I have more qualifications than other candidates. All that is well and good !! I also agree and appreciate that must be the routine way of the world.
Paramahamsa however, in addition to the routine way, refers to the exceptional way. He illuminates the world about the existence of an underground passage, right from the Royal Palace Harem to the Ganges Ghat, unseen and unknown and it must be admitted, unavailable to one and all. Paramahamsa and in his foot-steps, Mai-Swarup and Mai-ism confirm, declare and reveal the existence of the underground passage.
Says Paramahamsa: " There is something much higher than the usual spiritual aspirants gradual going, step by step, rung by rung, systematically steadily and slowly." " Get Mother's Grace first, and then, go to the world and live. First get the appointment order, as the Executive Engineer of a certain district, by Mother's Grace, by dying for Her; learn your engineering thereafter. Go straight to the office, take over your charge, take your chair most graciously, all the while as Mother's and with the confidence of one who is Mother's. The assistants will manage the whole office most efficiently for you, even if you do not know the spelling of the word " Engineering", with every loving reverence and infatuated obedience to you. ; by Mother's Will and Command, you are the fittest Engineer, none touches your single hair, in matter of your efficiency, safety, repute and peaceful smooth working. " Learn up your engineering after you are anointed appointed and authorised and declared, by Mother's Supreme-most High Command.
How bold !! How true !! Although so very exceptional !!! Not the common grass feeding, but nectar-serving !!!
195. The Founder suggests a special attitude towards religious questions, for them that want to derive the highest illumination and ecstasy. We should not have the savage like attitude .of summing up everything with " everything the same "- mentality, nor should we have the unrelishing semen less mentality of " There is nothing new or and stirring to arouse us ". Nor should we be suffering from the self-centered pride-mentality of " Everything is already there with us ".Then alone you will squeeze out the maximum joy of the highest understanding and precise and joys of religion.
For them that have risen above these three inimical handicaps, it is also interesting to note one further subtlety of Paramahamsa's teachings, which is also the point of standing difference in various schools of religious thoughts and belief. Paramahamsa or Mai-ism is not for flying away after you have realised God. Just the reverse. Please mark almost the contradictory belief. Not " Be living in the world, get better and better; as you get perfection, go on gradually leaving the world ", but, "Be perfect as much as you can, don't go before that to the world, and having perfected, go to the world ". " No Himalayan caves; help Mother to make the world better more enlightened, more righteous, more straight, more smooth, more blissful and more happy. " Not to retire and run away from the world, but to help Mother in the task of ameliorating the world.No leaving the world to its own lot. " There, there, there, the difference comes in, which is one of the permanent distinctions of Mai-ism.
You are rich, multi-rich; you accompany any of your middle-class ordinary friends in a tedious pilgrimage. You are journeying with them, they, sharing your joys and sorrows, inconveniences and discomforts. They are so very anxious and serving and sacrificing to make you most comfortable. You are passing onwards, as one of them. Your Mother at home learns you have left in their company. She sends a Rolls Royce car after you with all the best provisions. As soon as you see that car, all your former relation with the others who accompanied with you evaporates. You run yourself into your own car. leaving others to their own lot and you fly off, saying your good-bye with the distant hand-shake in the air while the motor flies. Mai-ism says," That is at least not noble, if not most selfish and detestable."
The Founder does not withstand the temptation of writing such childish things , ( Western writers don't ), because he has seen how in practical life, people have actually hated such run-aways, with words and vociferations and yet when he points out this difference in the realm of religion , he has a battalion to face, of the, said three inimical handicap mentalities. Paramahamsa says," Go to the world and this is the true requirement of the R.K.P. Mission ". Mai-ism says" Even after you have realised God and Mother, continue to love and serve Mother's children, until and unless, of course, Mother Herself wishes and orders and arranges otherwise." In Mai-ism, there is no great importance for caves, Samadhis etc.
What Paramahamsa has been advising in the quotations above, is " Living after Death ". " Living in the world after having died to the world." The illiterate parrot of Mai Markand wrote in 1934 thus : " Mai Bhagini Bandhu Sikha lo Marke Jeeneki Kalaa, Jao fir junglemen ranamen Dekhonge Gulzar hay ".[ माई भगिनी बन्धु सिख लो मरके जीनेकी कला , जाओ फिर जंगलमे रणमे देखोंगे गुलझार है ]. " Oh, you Mai-ist Sisters and Brothers !! Learn up the art of living after having died first. Go thereafter to the forest or the desert. You will see the heaven of roses, kept ready for you by Mother, a Palace in a forest and a Garden of roses with sweet waters in the desert. Now here is the joy of finding in 1949 ( after 15 years ) corroboration by Paramahamsa.
Finally, there is something to be thought out about the " Cart-before horse " - expression, as well. It is an expression based on and in rhyming with the modern ways of living and thinking. Religion as understood by people and religion as in it's truest form, are two different things, and thus there is often clash between the one and the other. Go deeper and deeper and all incongruencies will begin to disappear. The ancient Hinduism has also accepted or rather taught the very same truth. What is the meaning of Brahmacharya Ashram ?? Does that not mean " First God and then the world ?" Was that not once compulsory, before you entered Grihastha-Ashram ?? " Did that not mean you enter the world after God realisation and divine knowledge? Modern Hindu world believes," Enjoy as best as you can in schools and colleges before you enter the world !!! " " First enjoyment than the world ", says the modern Hindu youngster. So, in stern reality, it is the modern world that has placed the cart before the horse; it is only on taking that unconsciously creeping basic belief true that the Founder has used " cart before the horse " expression. In fact, the Founder has committed the blunder of referring to the running of the houses and trees etc. , while he has been carried away in a swift modern-thought train.
196. Regarding the problem of Grace, let try to understand religious problems, in all practicality, simplicity and comprehensibility, even though, there is littleness about that way of looking at various things. We don't want greatness with an over-awing bombasticity and incomprehensibility. Let us take our commonly known facts of information and experience of a commonplace nature, without leaving the sense of sanctity and decorum.
A superior post of a judge is filled up in two ways, one by a man in department by selection of the head, the other from the best people in the Bar. Mai-ism holds, there is an independent relationship between the highest spirit and the soul spirit, in the matter of spiritual progress, and the latter's going nearer and nearer to the former, which has absolutely nothing to do with all the better and best attainments and qualifications obtainable only through all the mechanical processes suggested in all religions. There are two different and independent paths - the path of Love and the path of Religion. Inter-mixture is also surely to be there. We have, in addition, the path of love filled with religion and the path of religion filled with love.
There, in that relationship of supreme Divine Love, so to say, only the class of attractivity or love, surrendering, serving and dying holds. You have to be attracted, and you attract, and vice versa. You love Mother; Mother loves you; that is all on that path.
The Founder most emphatically says here" I am not stating this with a light ' Oh yes Oh yes, it must be so ' mentality. I have come to this belief after years and years of churning, believing and disbelieving. " There is quite an independent path of love. Love between God and devotees. Love between the Highest spirit and the soul's spirit, where there is no other hindrance on any ground whatsoever. It is as good as mechanical Law of a magnet and an iron, the iron piece may be rusted or brilliant, it may be anything, of any colour or any shape.
It is we who mix up the matters. We jumble up the Ideal of God as Mother or Love with God who runs the Universe, who can adjust matters to our advantage. How you fare in life and world, should become entirely foreign inadmissible and irrelevant matter in the said independent path of Love. The return of Love is Love and not prosperity, power, removal of calamities, subjugation of opponents, etc. Love means absolutely nothing else. The jumbling is there; don't jumble up Mother as Mother to Her child and Mother as the Creatrix and Disposer of the Universe and controller of individual life with all joys and sorrows, pleasure and pains.
You love Mother but in return, you want the whole pleasure and wealth of the world. If you are satisfied with Love of Mother's towards you, your love and readiness to die for Her is in quite sufficient and is independent of all the religious requirements and equipments. There only the plain and scientific law holds. You weep out of separation from Mother, Mother runs to you. She heals you up and your wounds in a hospital; She bandages you. But mind, She runs not necessarily to give you and what you want and to help you out of your own dug up pitfalls. She runs to you to remove your pangs of separation. She too runs also because She can't remain without running. She loves you hundredfold. " Loving Mother means becoming Mother " that is second unfailing divine law. Mother's mandate to Her devotees, regarding their attitude towards the world, in spite of the latter's worldliness and possible wickedness, is " Be Mother to all, as I have been to you." Do you want Mother for Mother's sake? Well, there your way is clear and open. There is an independent path of divine love, which does not make any other achievement indispensable. That is the innermost teaching of Mai-ism.
What a terrible earth-and-sky difference, there is, between the stage of an intellectual knowledge and the conviction, realisation and corroboration of a certain truth !! And what a terribly long time period passes between the two stages? One life with the maximum time thereof best utilized seems to be almost nothing and not sufficient time at all. Just imagine the stage of a soul of a murderer or plunderer who can do his job with the sacred name of Rama or Krishna in his lips. Next, that of one who falls unconscious out of divine love, as soon as he hears the sacred name uttered by someone else. On the basis of the extent of progress which an average worldly soul is able to make up in one life in the matter of what he was, before and after, or at the beginning and at the end, just try to imagine how many lives are required to rise from the above one stage to another !!! We are lost in the ocean of perplexities, with no shores or lands in sights. Before the realisation of a certain truth, so many stages, degrees and intensities have to be passed. It is an indispensable requirement for realising the relish of " living after death ", that this world of ours, so much bright and righteous looking and infatuating should have been first realised, to have been, after all, only a forest and desert. True relishfulness of life and living, begins after non-attachment, relinquishment, renunciation and realisation of nothingness of the world.
Blessed be the name of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, the first Mother's child. Mother Herself, that came on earth to teach Her universal simplified speedy religion.
Blessed be the name of Revered Shri Swamy Vivekananda ( Shiva Incarnate ) who as Mother's lion roamed over the whole world and tore to pieces , all the demoniacal forces of superstition, ignorance, atheism, abuse, exploitation, intolerance, pride-blindness, etc., in respect of religiosity, and who introduced the element of universal widened out-look in all religions of the world.
197. To return to the continuation of our narration, the Founder declared his " Do or Die " decision to all his nearest friends, admirers, relations, and Mai-ists and they all hailed up the idea of selecting a place where he would be staying alone, with visitors off and on. The Founder laughs to himself when he remembers, with what credulity and optimistic buoyancy he then believed in people's encouraging words and took them at their word.
198. In actuality, he had lived separately from his family since he began the moment in 1932. In Poona [ Pune ] itself two rooms, one for himself and another for Mother were detached from the rest of the house, where the family stayed. He had enough experience, and with his devotional activity, it was impossible for him to be living with his family. Some visitors may be honest, some cheats. The family would be harassed as in a hell if he were to stay with the family. Anyone in the distress would come to him at any odd hour.
199. Once at one A.M. in the night in 1932, the Founder's door was knocked by a man of a reputation whom the Founder knew. He explained his calamity. Someone was dragging him into a criminal court with a nasty woman-entangled accusation. He had come up for a loan of Rs. 500 at that odd hour. The Founder was never rich. He said," I have no money, but I can move Mother to change your enemy's mind to be merciful." He agreed. He was made to lie on merely a carpet, repeating certain Mantras at the Lotus Feet of Mother, that night. He was made to fast for three continuous days and subjected to confinement in the owner's place - not going out at all. One of then man's intimate friends who was informed of his having gone to the Founder kept a watch over the further developments and informed the Founder and the man, at Founder's place. Soon a well-known pleader was engaged, as the next day suit was sure to be filed. The first day has gone. The friend brought the news in the evening that the filing of the suit was detained as the antagonist had the high fever. Founder himself bold to send word through the friend to the antagonist. " Your accused has surrendered himself to Mother and is in my charge. You will not get free from the fever unless you change your mind to be merciful." The man simply laughed away. Three days passed. The fourth day happened to be the day when the Founder was ordered by the Head of the department to proceed to Dharwar [ Dharwad ], for things to be kept ready for him for a meeting. He had promised the man in distress, that he would do his best to take him out of the calamity and had practically taken over the charge.
The reader can imagine the double difficulty. The Founder wept before Mother." Why do you bring such distressed souls, if Thou canst do nothing? "
It was a dilemma. At 8 p.m. ( the train was leaving at about 9 p.m.) , the founder's door was knocked. In came a young man with a fever just down, his very beautiful wife and his wickedness-incarnate mother. Founder adopted the sweetest tone, welcomed them and with the speech of Mother, asked them all to be wise. The distressed was keeping his head low. The wife said," I have also to say something ." Founder told her," I have no time. I have to catch the mail. I am already late. Is it anything more than a little evil eye, some joke or some little external departure from strict morality?
But should that have brought him to such a stage of suffering by your retaliation? " He made a summary trial; said he to the distressed," Prostrate to Thy mother here," and ' You mother forgive him. Now he is your son."," Forgo, forgive and forget so the Almighty Mother Mai may make you happy." He was obeyed and the bitterness was buried. Founder immediately got up, took out 25 Rs. from his own pocket, gave that sum to the lady as Mother's Prasad to be happy and did everything so hurriedly and flew away to the station.
He was late, but the train too was late in starting, seeing a large gathering and Founder coming with Mother's picture being reverentially carried by the Founder and held up in his hands, the mail-guard opened out an entirely unoccupied second class compartment ( 1932 ). He travelled all alone up to Dharwar having the best time to be talking with his Mother in the fine night breezes till, at Belgaum, the worship previously referred to, was conducted.
200.To live with the family was impossible. Further his religious belief did not permit him to throw away the family burden, as by a Sannyas. He had to retain his responsibility with the minimum attention and occupation but with a full financial responsibility. The Founder had not had the advantage of being a Hindu popular -recognised saint, or devotee, whose family matters would be taken up by the Hindu public with Beats ( presents ) from which he can manage from a long distance in quite an unattached manner, to keep the wolf from the door of the family.
201. The Founder was a householder, a "Grihastha". He had neither an advantage of a Hindu Saint nor of a Sannyasin, in the matter of public approbation, approach and acclamation. Each of the two types of life, that of a Hindu saint or Sannyasin, and a householder has its own advantages and disadvantages. if a Sannyasin goes to a Hindu family, even a child understands he has to take his meals there and has to be given at least ticket money for his next destination. If he is a recognised saint, his blessings of " Narayan Narayan " are always to be answered with an envelope containing some currency notes. In a word, there is ample provision for them. Any saint or Sannyasin stating that he is coming from Rameshwaram or Haridwar can collect a crowd around him, more especially if he has the art of changing a pebble into sugar-candy piece, and with a great surge which deluge the whole city, he can go away with ten or twenty thousand rupees from a place like Bombay [ Mumbai ] or Ahmedabad, so very easily.
202. On the other hand, all the disadvantages of being a householder were there. His case was a peculiar case and may best be compared with the life of a devotees in the past who had all disadvantages of a family-life and the harassment of the public without the handsome finance of a professional saint and without the inheritance of Hindu religious reverence and an authority of commanding followers. His religious ideal was to serve the public and not to be worshipped and served.
203. He was not rich enough with his own earning. he had spent already a good deal for Mother, without any moment making any difference about the expenses made for the family or himself or Mother. It was enough that he had money in his hand to undertake any work of Mother. To him, the expenses of a son's marriage were nothing of as greater importance than a Mother's function,if not of much less importance. His pension had been decided to be Rs. 114 p.m.hardly enough for himself and the family in these days after 1945.
204. The problem was a taxing one. But the more unhopeful the problem presented itself to be, the more determined he became to have his " Mai Niwas " for himself and his Mother alone and in all solitude.
205. With tears in his eyes, the Founder would thus talk to Mother,"Mother? shalt Thou not condescend to live longer than myself ? for world's welfare? well, if that be Thy cruel wish, we shall die together simultaneously and be burnt together, but we shall live alone together for few years of my life ".
People burnt The with Paramahamsa. Few understood him. He was Mother's Child. He was Thee Thyself. Mother herself. The world could not appreciate that inferior epithet of " Mother's Child ". with the Adwaitistic fascination, they thought, they honoured him more by calling him Paramahamsa."
" People did not preserve even relics of Thy ashes after Paramahamsa. If That was Thy lot and Thy wish, with such a mighty prodigy of highest spirituality, how is this poor wretch is to fare ?"
And he would faint as if the very soul had left him. On composure, he would continue with hand-folded and lips-shivering," Do you think, I don't know my worthiness? I am satisfied if the saints and custodians of Hinduism and the religious public rise to the sense of overhauling, revising and reviving their religion. Thou art already there, but with innumerable clouds of misunderstandings, exploitation and mischiefs. Mai-ism is essentially Revised Hinduism or protestant Hinduism, or Neo-Hinduism or She-ism ".
If Hindus do not rise to counteract the inward torrent of degeneration and its concomitant calamity, the terrible Vaamaachaar is sure to take possession of the Hindu Religious world in this Kali-age. Why not accept then Thy Sattwik Merciful Mother's conception? simplified and made suitable for the age, with free-est latitude in all personal matters., except where one would be violating the six tenets or the principles or the beliefs of Mai-ism ?? "
206. His feelings and decisions may be best described in his own broken rambling and jumping language from his green diary.
" Friday 20 -7- 1945. "
" It is impossible for me to live as a private man either singly or with the family. From the worldly point of view, my wife and children are most unfortunate. Their husband and parent has left very little for them, as he was Mother-mad in matter of spending for Mother; and still, he is. He has neither the overflowing public support of the Hindu religious world nor is the public opinion in India so developed with free thinking and independence of action, as to make people come forward with money to help the religious cause which they actually and honestly hold dear. People are swinging between the old and the new religious ideals and I too am swinging between a recluse and a householder.'s life. people cherish new ideals but support old ones. It is hard to throw off the old yolk and still harder to be fair and liberal to both in the matter of giving solid encouragement. For the relief of distress, people come to Mai and for Thanksgiving and charity, they go to their old deities temples and ashrams. Mother will be curing and the doctor will be taking fees. Mai will give a prosperous lift, or avert some danger or a calamity through a practical daily programme of mantras, name-repetition, worship, prayer, meditation, personal guidance, instruction, devotion and the wholesale responsibility and anxiety of the Founder, but the donation will go to some Mataji or any other Hindu deity or to some saint or some Ashram or some secret charity or to adherents friends or relatives.
207. " In these circumstances, I have very little hope of a general public's taking up of the Mai cause. If that had been the people's mind, twelve years would not have gone in vain. I have never received any proposal of an arrangement of financing ( even a few chips ), by public or members of the Mother's Lodge or the worship congregation or any individuals, for even the smallest items. The idea itself of meeting expenses by a system of donation or an Institutional fee is quite foreign to me and to others in respect of me and has never been proposed or accepted by me till now for Mai-activities. What to do is purely and simply a matter of my will, and the responsibility of expenses is similarly, purely and simply mine for undertaking Mai's substantial work such a printing of books, holding functions, expenses of travelling, correspondence and telegrams, visitors arrangements etc.
208." It will be a happy day if the public takes up the cause, but I think Mother Herself does not wish it, at least at this stage. People's mentality and money are too much polluted to have the fortune of that merit ( Punyam ). Whatever therefore I may be able to do is by way of a personal undertaking with the help of my friends and admirers, if Mother prompts them to help me in their personal capacity., keeping me all the independent and free to do what I like and keeping me intact and fully conscious of the responsibility that I have to bear , while undertaking any Mai - work.
209." My children are in no way responsible, for whatever I have received or will receive for Mother's work in future, in case Mother decides to bring Her work to a prosperous countable stage. Nor they have any claim over the property registered in my name as President of Mother's lodge or the head of any Ashram or a Mohant of a temple after the date a Lodge is formed registered or funds for an ashram or a temple are collected by legally appointed trustees.
210. " If Mother wishes to let loose the floodgates of public sympathy, co-operation and religious enthusiasm, coming forward with men, money and material, I am keeping my doors open. If public wants to take up Mother's cause, nothing like it. I am every inch of my body and mind, heart and soul, at the disposal of the public. But only to serve as a seed, if the world is prepared with its spirit of serving others and Mother and Mother's children in every manner, financially, mentally and physically, to grow up the Mai garden for my Mother.
211. " If either the public in an organised form or a registered society of my friends and admirers or members of a registered Institute paying regular fees and donations under rules and regulations come forth to take up Mai's cause , matters will be decided in future regarding any properties acquired by any such Institute , when such an organized registered institute or a society will come into being. That shall be after that, funds may flow in by the exertions and influence of such an Institute, society or its members and in the respect of the property they earn and funds, they collect. But if there be nothing of the kind, let me die peacefully, with no public harassment to my family, wife, children.
212. "The property which I possess at the time of my death, is my personal one, with all responsibility worried through by me, and neither the public nor any private persons or any society has any right to that property. If the Mai activity takes no shape of an organized and legalised form , the property goes as a personal property automatically to my wife and children , who have suffered more than enough, not only by being deprived of the services of a father , who could have earned and continued to earn even after retirement, as most of the people do in these extremely hard living time , but also because their father did not save money on considering mother's cause as his own personal cause; resulting in a loss to the family and family comforts . I am not referring to so many hardships which a devotee's wife and children are most automatically put to as a result of being in closest relation touch.
213." There should be absolutely no scope for misunderstanding which may create troubles in the future. All money that I have received and will receive, is by way of Mother's Grace to me while praying hard to remove miseries of different types or as a personal recognition of the work I am doing or out of love and respect personally for me. It is only my fad and fancy ?, my will and discretion, that I spend these amounts for Mother's work, which any other man would have utilised for his personal or family purposes, as a remuneration of his labours or worries, etc. as freehold money of one's own earning and ownership. "
214. Mother save me from that formidable future which so many saints in this most tomtommed religious country, have suffered from. The western ideal says," Never think or speak ill of the dead ." In India, the people revolve hundred pedigrees of their saints just at the time of or immediately after their death.
That is the highest homage Hindus can pay to its saints; to inflict of them the punishment of living most poorly during their lifetime, or to die with a troubled and agitated heart on the death-bed.
215. And all that misfortune is there because religion and religious working has to be and is being done in chaotic unsystematic, irresponsible, slip-shod unsympathetic and a whirl-wind or river-flood manner.
216. It is interesting to have a complete view, as I have formed about a saint's life in India. The substance is this. There is nothing supreme as the Ideology and practical true living as Hinduism and Hindu-istic living and nothing more chaotic and jumbled as the Hindu living. The result is, sufferers suffer and exploiters exploit in the realm of religion. Religion is the strongest cantilever in the hands of the wicked to crush the religiously weak. The irreligious, they can't dare touch. Righteous and good and truly religious are few. Let them be few but they are extremely weak and ever giving away, and indifferent, and living Religion and truly Religious people to take care of themselves. The many are experts in exploitation and are strong. As a result, Religion as a whole suffers tremendously. We want strength with Religiosity and system and charity, in a word, a constitutional method of preaching, practising and protecting Religion, for Hinduism generally as a whole.
217. The Founder's views, whatever they are, are recorded here from a letter, dated 26 - 1 - 1950, to a Mai Devotee.
The modern man's religious sense is like an apricot (Koth) which elephants chew and eat away and pass out. It is again unbroken whole apricot, but with no substance therein except the outer hard and uncracked whole casing. His going to a saint is very little more religious than going for a Kashmir or a Goa trip or to a cheap sanatorium.
Some saintly soul born on earth, deputed to serve as potassium permanganate tablet of a dirty cesspool, where frogs live on mosquitoes and mosquitoes live on frogs. Being too good, philanthropic, idealistic and worldliness-interests-indifferent he soon proves to be an unfit householder. The world's prevalent practice is that every earner should be looting the world to enrich his family and he is just the reverse. He not only sacrifices himself but he makes indirectly his wife and children to suffer, which they do of love and duty. Mostly, there comes a time, as the saint goes on being more and more engrossed in the public good and religious raising when the last drop of the duty evaporates under the tremendous sacrifice that family-members are called upon to make. Another misfortune is that his ways of thinking being contradictory to the world's ways, the saintly man fails to give the least satisfaction to his family unless they too are of the same clay. So, gradually, the isolation from the family life comes forth, as an inevitable result.
Any saint, however, Gyaani, and however talking and even feeling the unreality of the Universe ( I am not talking of such Himalayan saints ) is, after all, a living man, not a machine or a pillar or a post of iron and steel; He naturally has a soft corner for all that have suffered for him. He is however destined and been booked for a different type of work. He loves Religion, he loves Religious men, he loves religious activity. His life is a religion. In course of time, so many moths crowd around the light. The whole working round about a saint in course of time is like that of the creation of a small state or kingdom with currents and undercurrents of mischiefs, worldly tactics and stealthily and cautiously carried out (all types of ) departures from the strict morality, righteousness and straight conduct. A hillock is formed around the saint. The hillock is made up of all types of people, but it has its own name and fame, because it has the saint as its central soul, just as the man's soul illuminates and gives life to its body. The soul is gone, everything collapses. The saint himself does not wish a hillock be formed around him. Not only that, but it is not that he is in touch with or in deep sympathy with every stone that goes to make the hillock. The hillock is an automatic formation by people themselves for each one's own particular purpose and self-interest. It is something which is sometimes so often chocking and air rarifying for the saint. There are actually some instances where the saints have run away from their own formidable mountains formed around them.
The world is too strong for the saint when the world decides to construct a hillock or a mountain around him. The world has proved too strong even for incarnations; what then, of a poor saint? I mean a real saint. I am not referring to them that know the art of befooling and mastering the world, and to the world's greatest tacticians and diplomats, that have laid their hand on their Religion.
The saint has to deal with so many varieties of people (a) The class of them that actually love and serve him (b) The class that is really desirous of a religious , mass progress (c) The class of practical worldly workers for the religious Institutes (d) The class of solid supporters of Institute or Ashram (e) The outside world tom-tommers busy with tall talking and increasing their Guru's importance ( and their own way ); etc. In many cases, he proves too weak with his natural goodness and lovingness to manage matters smoothly. He can't go away. He can't manage the hillock round him. The hillock itself is made up of warring heterogeneous elements. His only way out is to transfer over that whole unbearable head load with all the soul-harrowing anxiety and worry to someone who is the master of worldly arts and volunteers himself. Here, the strongest man , expert in all tactics of worldly trickeries , and possessing the knack to set the worst world straight and aright and bent on knees, in a word, the most masterly hand from amongst the adherents, has the highest chance of usurping the master-ship, not only of the hillock , but of the saint himself. The saint has to be a bird of saintliness in the golden cage made up by the hillock-master. It is the latter's own advantage that the name and fame of the hillock and the saint is spread the world over and raised to skies. The hillock master sees that saint is happiest in his comfort and physical requirements, but he has to live as he directs, and chalks out steps in the dust on the ground into which saint has to place his steps, one after another.
In the world itself, the saint was a square bolt in a round nut. He escaped it by accepting the saint's life. Now the worldly family has been substituted by the religious hillock family. The intimidating and nagging wife of the henpecked husband in the worldly life has been substituted by the prisoner warder, the hillock master. Which is now the next place for escape ?? Various complaints go to the saint and his only answer is " If the hillock master asks me to leave this place, I will leave this place without a single word of protest or murmur ." Each Paramahamsa has his own Hridaya. He fears him, he trembles at the very idea, his any action will offend him. If he has to deal with anyone whom the hillock master does not like, he has to do that as if he were doing a criminal act.
The hillock and the saint, however by their very existence, purify, sanctify, elevate, religionise and deify some fortunate people. Such hillock formation is also Mother's making for the Religious few. Such few and countable souls, as draw the sharpest distinction between the saint and hillock, the hillock Master, and the hillock residents. The hillock has mines of gems and from place to place, lacks of nectar, but for few and the fewest. It is a living heaven for the heaven lovers who are single-mindedly bent on seeing nothing else except the heaven closing their to everything else. Before their eyes, they only keep the saint, and not the hillock, while maintaining every worldly wisdom to keep the obstructive outer casings, surrounding the saint fully lubricated and sweetened. They, such few, few means not more than 5 in 1000 at the most, reap the highest benefit of the Divinity's Grace of sending over the saint to this world. The shower which Mother pours over millions is really for allying the thirst of a few peacocks of the devotees. For the rest, the hillock blaze and it's glowing and growing areas and the high peaks afford a nice subject, costing nothing to talk over , during leisure hours when nothing else regarding the worldly work or thinking about earning etc. remain to be done or when the world drives them into a corner of despair and disappointment, agony and grief.
The hillock estate in course of time for all others becomes a magnanimous lavishly laden huge dining charity house, or the Panjarpole ( Jain religious free-feeding houses for maimed animals. And then the world is busy, with the problem about how to take the best monetary advantage of the hillock formed, after the soul flies away.
People may curse me when I am saying unpleasant things, but these are truths without any exaggerations. One Swami Omkar writes in 1950," A sudden black conspiracy sprang up to gobble my whole Ashram." Here the bone of contention raises several frontier quarrelling tribes, unfortunately so often before the saint is old enough to go on. The hillock-Master says, he is selected to be the manager by the Bhagwan himself. ( A saint whom he would not allow a single thing to do against his own wish is " Bhagwan ",, when he talks to others ). The person whom the saint loved most sets in his claim, as one who has received the highest spiritual inheritance by virtue of the Divine Law of natural inheritance through the most wonderful powers of Love. Those who have served the Saint day and night would murmur " While lovers only loved him and merely talked sweetly, what did they cost to them? It was we that have sweated ".The public ( mostly headed by them that sacrificed little ) says,"," This is public money." " Let the public decide whom they want to follow and revere and accept, as the successor." The class of those that are religiously actually more-fitted, shouts," Is this private worldly man's property? It is a religious work and an Institute brought to this exceptionally commendable stage. Shall we allowed it to be ground-dusted? Let the religiously fitted man who can conduct this Institute in the manner and with the religious principles desired and inculcated by the saint himself, take up the reins. You must have a religiously ( and not a worldly ) capacious man as the Head." In another corner, rich persons are shouting as the patrons who made monumental charities. they would be saying," Were it not for us and our charities, which devil of the world was knowing your Blessed Saint? Where had you all gone , before we came in, for so many years. ? " the last and most to be pitied in the cry of the family brothers, sisters , wife , sons and daughters, whose hearts burn to flame, on having absolutely nothing to do and no right to have a word in the matter of the largest monumental thing brought into being, by their own son, brother , husband or father. With tears and wrathful hearts they say," We gave over our God-man of our family to serve the world, and the world, has proved to be so ungrateful, that not even a sparrow welcomes us or looks at us, in the very hillock constructed by our own man whom we reared up, fed, nourished and made the fit for the world's service, by our own life-long sacrifice. ".
The saint sees all the currents and under-currents around him. He is disgusted. He feels the only escape an early peaceful death. Says he,"Oh Mother !! I never craved for hillock. I never considered the hillock as my own or as of my making. I never identified myself therewith. At least save me now. Let people cut each other's throats, or break heads and make blood ooze out after my death, but at least let me die a peaceful death."
Mother !! save me from being known as Great. I would simply and individually and silently serving and passing on the spark of Thy devotion from the reservoir of Thy Grace if Thou placest that in my charge for distribution, but only as per Thy permits.
218. All this administrative chaos which, for want of a constitutional system often results in a collapse on the saint's soul flying away, can be effort-ed be set right by acceptance of certain general principles. It must be the most universally accepted principle, that the man who never contributed to the making up of an Institute can have no claim to clamour in the name of public interest. Most of the truly religious people forego all their claims out of the sacred memory and reverential love to the Saints, whose feet they would wash with their tears and wipe with their hairs. It is the mischief mongers of persons who never contributed or never actually served the saint or saw him, that play the highest havoc. They are successful because there are no accepted principles and system. It is the matter of repeated occurrence that the world never cares to know how a saint fares, whether he has been living or dying , but as soon as he brings forth something worth the name by his personal influence and spiritual labour, the world comes forth like a swarm of locusts to give him directions and to have a voice and a hand in the management and handling of all affairs . on the ground " of a public cause and concern ". The notion that " a religious Institute and a Saint is everyone's property to deal with, both as one likes." , should be in the modern age go. Any upstart with the bit of influence an diplomatic intriguing intellect can infuriate a certain portion of the mass to support his views and to serve his ends. This irresponsible and unearned right can be well restricted by a regularly appointed council, for the purpose of carrying out the wishes of the saint and executing his commands or to help him in the management of affairs , not as a controlling body , but as a sort of comrades appointed and accepted by the followers' world. The other consideration is about the money collected. There will be a great clearance of the subsequent disputes if the purpose of which a certain "Bhet भेट " is given is made clear all-known understanding. So much of subsequent mischief and misunderstanding and bitterness will have no breeding ground. Such a practise must be introduced, because, in this thing itself, so many complications arise. Theoretically, there may be so many purposes. Few cases may be mentioned here.
(a) Some give out of pure and simple personal Love to the Saint (b)Some as a donation due to the saint, as the guiding Guru. (c) Some like the views or theories he represents may succeed and be widespread (d) Some want that the Institute which has been brought into being may not perish of money-starvation (e) Some give him as a devotee of a certain deity of one's own Love and Worship (f) Some give so that the saint may shower his Grace which may help them to tide over certain difficulties. (g) Some give because giving to the devotee is giving to the Deity, for the Deity's Grace (h)Some may give to the saint as the proper person through whom charity of a particular kind can be best made. (i) Some may give money to enable him to help the Saint's family, which he can not openly do with the Hinduistic notion, without being belittled in society and accused of having still attachment to the family. (j) Some may give for some harmless pleasure of a luxury of the Saint, say, for instance, the purchase of a radio or a motor car, for the innocent enjoyment and comforts of the saint himself.
There may be, broadly speaking, four classifications : [a] The Guru [b] The God or Deity [c] The Religion and [d] Universe or public. For instance, under [a] can come the heavy medical expenses of the saint Under [b] can come, a big Bhandara भण्डारा with the public feeding of a particular celebration of a deity-day. Under [c] can some donations to depute some students to go to the continent to study different religions. Under [d] can come distribution of medicines in an epidemic-stricken area.
The present chaos must disappear. The donor and the donee must not remain in ignorance or in wrong impressions, each one having different notions in mind. This is especially necessary because, even the donors themselves say one thing while they make the donation, and then change.
On the other hand, the children of the donors have no idea of the love with which their parents made a donation to the saint as their benefactor or object of personal love and reverence and come forth to start murmurings accusations and oppositions.
The other two points of importance are one, the help to the family of the saint and the other, the clear-cut idea about the inheritors or successors.
219. Here, regarding number one, the world's aptitude or belief is extremely, unsuited for the modern age. Hinduism under its Sannyaasa Ideal requires it to strictly observe d that the sannyasin who can be the Saint or a Guru, has not to look at his family, whether it dies of hunger, whether it prospers. This extremely hard requirement results now in stealthy efforts because the public support of the saint's family, so very automatic and invisible before, has entirely gone. It is quite natural that saints cannot be altogether without any feeling whatsoever for their wife and children. The family has not committed any crime to be deprived of the protection of the saint, because it had the misfortune ( ? ) of having a son, brother, husband or father., who was extremely religious minded and so to say, wedded to the cause of religion. It was this extremity on one end, which in its naked sense, meant only, the out and out the extreme selfishness of the world, which impelled many religious founders to make the master-ship of an Institute to be practically hereditary. The two extremities, on one hand, to meet out a treatment to the relations as if they were inimical and on the other, to trust one's own worthy or unworthy children and grand-children as the religious masters of the public that makes up the following, had their own pernicious results, and must now go. Why should this qualification of being a religious teacher be pitched so hard, as that he must have not even the shadow of his wife and children, and must have risen above the most natural love which even Vyaasadeva व्यास could not overcome for his son Shukadevji शुकदेव ??
220. Has any son thought over these questions and expressed ( in writing ) their views? Beyond eulogising or condemning? Here also, there are the two extremities. What has come down to us? Has anyone made an independent thinking over this question of what should be the type of Institute of Religion, to be most efficient ?? At least under new circumstances? The world has known only one side, viz., that of selfishness and self-serving. Poor wives of Tukaram and Narasimha Mehta, Jijabai and Maneka Mehti were condemned by the world as quarrel-some and irreligious. Has the wicked world ever once thought that they were aggrieved and that the world was resentfully refusing them the enjoyment of their natural rights ? has the world even thought of making amends for their losses? No. The world is simply acting most cleverly to its own advantage. It is ready so to say to snatch away a girl from an old father. It never cares to know or inquire how the poor old father had to suffer in educating her and rearing her up, spending for her, laboring for her and making her so very healthy, accomplished, educated and attractive. As soon as the harvest season is there, or as soon as the girl is of the marriageable age, the crows begin to peck the father and bore holes in his head. That is how the rotten world has dealt with practically most of the saints except them that were fortunate enough to have the protection of the hillock master, powerful, tricky and shrewd enough to swallow up the whole world itself.
221. My own impression, on the whole, is that with Hindus, every saint has to make his own way in the world. There is very little like a standing arrangement or provision to help saints or encourage them or to maintain them for religious education or continuation of a spiritual spray. If in the effort saint dies, there are thousands of people that die and he is one more added to the list. If he survives and stands, there are thousands of locusts and bees to suck him up. This should go. There must be constitutional arrangements, organisations, institutes, funds, tests and provisions.
222. Saints are surely born and made to be born to live their life for the public good and welfare, but let them die of hard heavy life-sucking-glorious and noble work and not of poverty, cold and hunger or begging. If an expert cook has come to you, take out his life by getting various recipes or making him teach you all fifty dainties instead of five, but not by asking him to show his culinary master-art, refusing to give him anything whatsoever as a minimum of materials. No spices, no grains, no food-stuff, no vegetable, no vessel and no Shegdi, no match-box, no coal, no water, no air and no place to cook. but, " Give us the benefit of, and teach us your mastery ". The only tongue and touch remedy is left for the expert is to request all present to go on imagining things as done, as he goes narrating every detail and to give best tall-talk dinners. That is the Hindu attitude towards Religion as a compact whole and our saints. Hindu saints are satisfied with a piece of bread and a foot-length of cloth, but even that much Hindus can not manage systematically and constitutionally, wisely. methodically and impartially. The fact of facts is we are either for dittoing or denouncing but never for an independent impartial thinking about these problems fundamentally with a view to setting matters right, retaining the gold and brushing away the dust.
223. The Founder was full of spirits. He had absolutely no idea of the world as it actually was. The Founder placed all the cards open to all, his admirers, friends and relatives ad followers of Mai-ism and left it to them and Mother's Will to let matters to take their own course. On his part, he was ready to serve in his personal capacity as till then, or as the religious Head of an Institute, if the world was prepared to organise one. He neither demanded nor refused any help. He was cool mindedly waiting and watching which way the wind of inclination of the world towards the true religiosity and the Final wishes of Mother, would be blowing. He had to decide his future line of working and living. He did not seek other official services. As a matter of fact, he refused offers of appointment. As he wrote to his friends, be became full-time Mother's Servant from August 1945.
224. There were several experiences of a wonderful nature which made him think that it was Mother's desire that a Mai-Niwas of an independent ownership by the Founder should be there.
225. Unbelievably, events took place as if Mother was arranging for the finance. One rich lady of Bombay [Mumbai] who attended Mother's Lodge meetings and came to the Founder whenever he used to go to Bombay from Poona or Hubli, had her husband on deathbed. The Founder was called for. He went from Hubli to Bombay, prayed and gave every instruction and a daily programme of mental repetition, worship, devotion, spiritualised waters and medicines etc. He was told by a most reliable responsible nearest relative that if the husband survived, Rs 5000/- were to be spent in charity for his recovery. The Founder had absolutely no idea of the juggleries of the world even at that stage after fifty-five. Neither any single word was spoken about any other religious agencies of a spiritual devotional or psychic cure working towards the life-saving end, nor was absolutely anything like that heard. The Founder worked day and night, devoting two to three hours every night between 12 to 3 A.M. and the least hope for the result was there, by Mother's special grace. what can be a greater reason than the lady's letter that by Mother's Grace the husband was alright and that she would not forget to make a handsome charity to Mother's cause, for the Founder to presume that he was sure to get Rs 5000/- on the husband's full recovery ??
226. The Founder was extremely enthusiastic about getting her letter of assurance about the complete cure. He purchased a plot of 12 Gunthas immediately in Hubli for Rs 2000/-. The founder has his own ways of thinking. he is feverishly impatient about one point. If anything good or beneficial happens and if one is saved through Mother's Grace, he is counting moments between the information or the knowledge of such happening and his own or others' Thanksgiving. Somehow he believes in extreme promptness in the matter of thanksgiving and similarly handing over Mother's dues and crediting Mother's dues received to the Mother's cause. He attaches the highest importance to this rule of conduct or practice. He himself believes a deity's debt is a dire disease and a doctor's devil. He can't sleep over. If anything happened, for instance, in office which improved his position, he would be first purchasing worshipping materials on the way home, will first worship Mother and thereafter inform home-people he has been promoted to a higher grade. Founder believes that for every moment lapsing between a good-luck and thanksgiving, a man is an extremely heavy loser.he is without the protection of Mother's steel armour. He is with his breast exposed to the enemy's bullet.
227. Founder's experiences are very interesting and even funny. He was once travelling from Belgaum to Nipani in a bus. But would have several halts on the long way. just after the bus started from a halt, the Founder saw someone selling jasmine flowers in abundance. he asked the bus driver to stop for a few minute s as he wanted to purchase those beautiful flowers for his Mother to worship with. the driver said he won't. Founder explained to him the position. " I am no ordinary routine worshipper. , If you don't you will find your bus can't go after some time, you shall have to bring the bus back to this place." The swollen headed chauffeur scornfully laughed. After some 4 to 6 furlongs, the machine went wrong and in spite of all remedies could not proceed. The passengers all got exasperated due to the delay. Said the Founder," I can make it run. You promise that you will take me back to those jasmine flowers and then on return, you may drive fast enough to make up the whole time because I am also extremely anxious to worship my Mother in the Nipani Travelers Bungalow, as worship is overdue. The chauffeur with a grim face agreed. Said Founder," Well then, be all on your seat. said he in his childlike way," Mother, see, see, the chauffeur has agreed to go back. Don't you want to be worshipped with beautiful jasmine flowers? I will purchase the whole basket. I will worship Thee as soon as I reach. It is getting late. Now don't make delay. ." Said he to the chauffeur," Start. "
The motor immediately, to the greatest joyful surprise of all, worked up. Founder purchased the whole basket and reached the Travellers Bungalow in time and worshipped his Mother with every endearment and grandeur. He satisfied his principle of promptitude.
228. Once you have established a relationship with Mother, it is your choice to set up the standard of give and take promptitude and postponement. Mother's speed to your call will depend upon intensity and impatience with which you offer your Thanksgiving. Mother accepts and adopts a standard which you lay down and accept, for the same relationship.
Let one not be fortunate enough to have Love in heart: But, service ?? The sense of duty, responsibility, conscientiousness, promptness and the feeling of gratefulness? these things any man can command as quite an ordinary behaviour of gratefulness, goodness and faithfulness. Neither the nurse loves her patient nor a shop-keeper love his customers, nor a debtor his creditor. It is pure and simple honesty and virtuous side of the behaviour of any man, even though irreligious and love-less. If one can't love, he can at least serve. if he can't serve, he can at least be grateful.
It is, to say the least, serving one's own interest; to see that the connection once given is not cut off. Every wise man must have before his mind while dealing with religious matters forces and Divine aid, this fact viz. that such relations are quite delicate and of the heart, and therefore extremely tender as a flower, fragile like a glass and quickly falling from an invaluableness to valuelessness as a pearl. Further, we remain in entirely dark as to when Mother's Grace is withdrawn and we left in delusion without the continuous steel-protection of Mother.
229. In less than a week since the time he had the information from the lady, he got everything with every care not to loose a single moment. The deed was registered in no time. The land was demarcated. Hubali citizens were extremely glad as Hubli was to be the home of another's saint's Ashram after the Shiva Avatar Swami Siddharudha. The founder made the jubilant declaration to all concerned. The quickness with which the cure takes place, the richness of the donation of Rs. 5000, the opening of this money avenue so very quickly , after he convinced the idea of having a Mai Niwas, and the prompt availability of the land and still quicker registration , all things within less than a month.( all this process in Bombay took, nearly three years, made the Founder more than jubilant and flying in the air of imagination about mother's own will in a matter of the construction of the Mai Niwas, the future of Mai-ism and its glorious and widespread success.
230. As a grand dashing from an aeroplane, however, the charity did not come forth. On the other hand, reports were heard that the handsome charities were made in several quarters.
There were letters from Bombay and Ahmedabad regarding great sorrow on fixing the permanent abode at an entirely foreign place, hundreds of miles away from the Founder's home. All pressed the Founder to relinquish the idea. One day the Founder had a money order of Rupees Twenty five, with an endorsement in the coupon to the purport that the amount was sent by way of recognition of Mother's Grace for the husband's recovery.
The Founder had paid Rs. 1000 ( from his own purse ) to the Vendor and Rs. 1000 more had to be paid. The Founder's sorrowfulness and more than that, the awkward position in which he was put by having to find Rs.1000, may be better imagined than described.
231. Just then, an extremely liberal-minded, practically a relative, though of another cast, was staying with the Founder, as his wife ( who was like a daughter to the Founder ) was suffering from Tuberculosis.
The gentleman of an extremely straightforward mood and of a liberal heart had some experience of the Founder's miraculous powers. he had appeared for an examination, the number of successful candidates of which would not be more than a few He had no hope. He was more or less a prototype of the Founder in the matter of immediate thanksgiving and payment and even payment in advance to Mother's cause. The first thing he did on finding that he was not to pass, was to inform the Founder about it and pray. To his greatest astonishment, he passed with the narrowest escape. He was now a big man. His wife was declared to be suffering from T.B. He asked Founder at Hubli his advice. Both Founder and this devotee would deal with the matters by telegrams, worded lavishly without any calculating mind. The founder is extremely profuse in that matter. He would word his telegrams as he would be writing a note.
The devotee inquired," S.S.L. suffering from T.B. what do you advice? Meeraj or Deolali ?". Founder replied," If you have faith in Mother, neither Meeraj nor Deolali but Hubli ."The devotee took the Founder at his word, cancelled all his programmes and went straight to Hubli.
232. This devotee with his wife and a daughter were present with the Founder when that Money -Order of Rs. 25 was received. They could see Founder's eyes wet with tears. On their repeated pressure, the facts had to be explained. The devotee got up, went to his room and return with his chequebook. Said he,"Kakaji? Don't be sorry. Here you are ". He wrote out Rs. 1000 cheque in Founder's name. The founder was more than liquefied. Said he with joyful tears," Mother Bless you, my children. He turned with a forcefulness to Mother and began to speak in loud words. " Don't you see the difference between men and men? Remove this T.B. forthwith immediately. Now and Now." Founder closed his eyes and after a few minutes told them " Mother has been pleased to take away your T.B.You now proceed to Bombay and get your re-examination." said Founder," just as you tore off my anxiety with the cheque, so has Mother too torn off your calamity of the fell disease." The couple started the next day with the greatest joy. Get the lady examined, she had no T.B. T.B. was gone forever.
233. The couple returned to Hubli. Both of them had an ascetic's mentality. They proposed that the Founder should stay permanently in Bombay and they would take care of him for his whole life as an old saintly parent, as " Mai " in human form. The founder was given a popular name of " Mai Kaka ". this devotee proposed with all his heart that a plot of 1600 square yards be purchased in Santa Cruz which should be enough for two bungalows.the front one for the Founder and the rear one for the devotee. A plot was available just below the wireless station on Saraswati Road and with an extreme influence and zeal of the said devotee brother and of another equally devoted sister, a plot was purchased. The Founder was in a position to pay off an advance Rs. 1000 for the Bombay plot. He was eager to see how matters were further arranged by Mother.
He was destined and for only a small hut of matting and bamboos, if nothing better can come forth and be managed, just like kachcha sheds which usually Bavajis have, Rs. 5000 which he can spare for himself were enough. He had the do or die unflinching and unyielding resoluteness of having any abode anywhere where he can stay with Mother in every solitude and continue Mother's work.
234. This incident of T.B. cure gave a great lift to the Founder. He was welcomed and accepted as a permanent home-member with every reverence and consideration that a saint can command, in Bombay itself (Malad). Mother was making Her way. Were it not that the Founder had an established comfortable home in Bombay, with very love and respect for him as a saint, childlike and homely, perhaps it would not have been possible for him to settle in Bombay and construct his " Mai-Niwas ".
235. One more thing which added to the glory of Mai-ism was the publication of a long article in " Sunday Times " of Madras, dated 2-12-1945, " MAI-ISM, A NEW FAITH " written by a " Pilgrim " who had personally seen the Founder at Hubli with a critical eye, just as Rev. Kaushikram of Ahmedabad had seen. What the pilgrim found in the Founder can be best described in his own words incorporated in the article. The main difference between the two severe critics was that one was for a small selected personal group to be taking advantage of the Founder, whereas the other for informing about the saint to the whole paper-reading world.
236. This is the summary of the article:-
" Orthodoxy and custom have sanctioned for religion certain seals and labels which have a powerful hold on our minds. When we think of a saint, the picture of one in saffron robes with a tonsured head comes into our minds. The picture of a devotee is that of melancholy looks and tearful eyes and murmuring rosaries. Orthodoxy sets its face against any departure from rigid rules relating to even such externals as dress and behaviour. But cropped heads, collars and ties and pants and boots have come to stay in modern life and if religion cannot be admitted to be capable of existing with them, it is a religion that has to depart.
" But, how long? A spiritual and moral blight comes of a lack of faith. Humanity cannot be happy without religion and true religion has always been proclaimed to be above externals. To exemplify this truth the present times have seen somewhat of a compromise in the Ashrams of Shree Aurobindo and Shree Ramana Maharshi and in the cosmopolitan worship of Sree Sai Baba.
237. " Some time ago, I heard reports of a new saint in Hubli and his miraculous powers.
On the night I reached Hubli, I saw a telegram which had just come saying, " Child safe, Mother's Grace is unfathomable." Evidently, there was a frantic appeal from the parents to this live-wire of Infinite Love and Sympathy for help with the result the telegram indicated.
" My stay with him was a unique experience to me. "Mother was only an artist's picture. There were no rituals. It was all simple and what is already known to most of us. But, what a world of difference in the atmosphere of sincerity, and genuine Love and devotion! We have all heard of the ecstasy of Sree Chaitanya and Sree Ramakrishna, but one could actually see it now. We all went out for a walk and that was an occasion to see the Universal Love that this apostle of the Mother could radiate all around wherever he went. Young or old, high or low, rich or poor, everyone without any distinction whatever, received affectionate attention from him as we passed.
238. " His theology is simple. He realises Love as the Supreme force in the Universe and God as Mai or Mother, not in the aspect of a consort or Sakti, but as the Ultimate Source and Repository of All Things. It is this " Mother-and-child-relationship" that is the speciality of his faith. He considers that this mother-child relationship was already there in Hinduism, but was revived and received emphatic expression in the modern age through the Blessed Shree Ramakrishna. " Mai-ism, " he writes, " is Hinduism but not Hinduism alone"; Mai-ism, according to him, is the Universal Religion or Mai-ism can at least take under its wings followers of any religion, without submitting them to the charge of apostasy to their own.
239. "For the propagation of this message, a Mai Samaj or Mother's Lodge has been started of which he is the Founder and President. The Lodge is still in its beginnings, still, it has hundreds of followers in all principal towns of Gujerat and also in the South. But the " Lodge " office has been but a " snail house" for the Founder which he carries on his back wherever he goes". It is now at Hubli.
240. " Let me warn the reader, that if he expects to find a saint in saffron robes living in August and mystic aloofness, he will be disappointed. For, instead, he will meet a person wearing a collar and tie and pants living like any modern educated man with rather irregular habits, familiar with everybody, and looking like a challenge to old orthodoxy. I say of irregular habits, not that he is capricious, but that he lives so little for himself and so much for propagating the Love of Mai, that if anyone goes to him, say at 8 p.m. to talk of God and Godly love, he would go on till even the small hours of the morning, and only after the visitor leaves him satisfied, he would think of taking his cold meals.
241. "The vulgar crowd, proverbially stupid, cannot know a saint unless he is accompanied with the external insignia of sainthood familiar to it, and hence the vulgar crowd has not spotted him yet and begun to own him, making an approach to him difficult, if not impossible.
242. "But luckily, this is an advantage to the honest seeker, for he can now get closest to him, live in his presence, discuss with him, open the innermost recesses of his heart to him and benefit by his example and intercession.
243. "Since writing the above, Rao Saheb Mai-Markand Dholakia, who is the saintly personage referred to in the above article, has retired from Government service and is now in Santa Cruz, Bombay. At the request and with the financial help of his friends and admirers, who are of course Mai-ists, a Mother's Lodge is sought to be established as a central Home for the propagation of the new message for the benefit of the suffering world."
244. This " pilgrim " is a retired Government officer, who has been studying the lives of saints and is a writer on Sanskrit religious matters. He was so much enthusiastic about declaring the Founder to the public, that he did not agree to the Founder's request of dropping the idea of publication in the Press. He had written the article with still greater details and with the aim of introducing the Founder to the public. Founder, however, wrote to him " My joy lies in the propagation of Mai and Mai-ism and not in my little personal things." The article was redrafted. The heading itself was changed and personal reference to the Founder was subordinated to the explanation of Mai-ism.
Printed reprints of this article were most zealously distributed by a devotee of Mai and a second reprint was pulled out by a Zoroastrian Mai-ist of Nagpur.
245. The fact of the purchase of a plot at Santa Cruz was communicated to all Mai-ists interested therein and Madrasis were the first people, few though they were, that came forth each with a handsome donation of one-third of his or her pay. One lady with a poor pay of Rs. 55 all told, came forth with a personal donation of Rs. 25.
Jay Mai, Jay Mai, Jay Mai, Jay Mai.